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a question about online dating

(5 Posts)
theshitestuff Sun 29-Nov-15 12:52:12

Asked in chat if there's a dating topic but can't find it

Anyway my question is: What's the etiquette with online dating if you plus size/very fat? Where possible I'll use photos that actually show what I look like but I don't really have any full body shots

There's one site where you can only have one photo.

I feel I need to disclose this before meeting men so they aren't shocked or horrified.

I'm a size 22 ish but got an alright face and hair and usually look fairly well put together

Grateful for any help thanks 

INeedNewShoes Sun 29-Nov-15 12:56:02

The dating websites I use tend to ask for your 'body size' ('athletic', 'average' 'a few extra pounds' etc.) in the same section that asks your height, hair colour etc. If anyone is bothered by these details, they will check that part of your profile so just make sure you fill that bit in realistically.

I really wouldn't make a big deal of it in the written statement bit of your profile (unless it is a big deal to you) otherwise you'll sound as if you've got hang-ups about it. There are plenty of men out there who won't give a jot about your size.

Supermanspants Sun 29-Nov-15 12:58:42

If you don't have any full body shots then can you get someone to take a couple. Agree about not making reference to it in your statement. Yes there will be those who won't like it but equally there will be those who are really not fussed

DarthVadersTailor Sun 29-Nov-15 13:59:22

I don't know if there's an etiquette as such, but a full body shot in your photos is a good idea and as a PP said make mention of it if you feel you must but otherwise I wouldn't make a deal of it because, well, why would you?

I like a plus size lady myself and if I was looking for one I'd stop and look at your profile, if I didn't then I wouldn't. You will be attractive to some and not to others, that's just the laws of nature! But if you feel insecure about your body, and the tone of your OP highly suggests this, I would personally be trying my hardest not to project this on my dating profile because either you will appear to be an easy insecure target for arseholes or it'll be seen as a turn-off - when I used dating sites briefly I always saw someone who projected their insecurity as a huge red flag and moved on.

But most importantly of all OP, try to enjoy online dating and stay relaxed! Not every contact will come to something good but it can also be quite fun. Stay safe, be confident and enjoy yourself. Good luck! smile

LobsterQuadrille Sun 29-Nov-15 16:17:43

Agree with the above. There is no need to make any mention of what size you are - and like a previous poster, the site I used to use asks you to select "slim, athletic, average, a few extra pounds". Including a shot showing your body - sitting down, smiling, having fun - is a good idea anyway and yes, some people don't care less about size and others do. I once contacted a man who messaged back that I sounded nice but was too thin for his taste.

Have fun with it and make sure that any first meet is in a public place (sorry if that sounds patronising) - I would always go for coffee during the day because if it's a "no" it can be a wasted half hour and that's it.

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