Dp (only hes not the dear) has left me once again i cant count on both hands and feet the amount if times over the last 6yrs that hes done this to me and dc. Hes a dick i know hes a dick but he says im the one to blame.
Our relationship was great or so i thought at first looking back there was massive red flags but i was so desperate to be loved i ignored them. Him controlling me i saw as keeping me safe him getting angry about my friends so i ditched them. Him treating me was great and i felt special only he took things back when we argued. At first it was just arguments then he would ignore me and not take my calls. I begged and pleaded with him!!! I was so desperate to be loved ( i had already been in one abusive relationship i wanted this time to be different)
Then he started ragging me with my hair or the scruff of my neck pushing me so hard he also threw things at me broke things in my home. He also hit me not punches but slaps and back hands my nose got bust and he used to stick his thumbs in my eyes so badly my eyeball got a bleed in it. There were names called at me. He cheated. He threatened and once took our ds for 3days i didnt know where they went. He blamed me for all of the above apparently i wind him up.
I cant have opinion, i cant get a job but then im lazy cos i dont work like him. Im not good enough i dont smile i cant have a laugh or joke. Ive let myself go ive put weight on.
I ashamed to say my relationship with my dcs is being affected cos my head is always hurting my stomache is in a constant knot. Im treading on eggshells and so are my dc they shouldnt be.
I need to keep him away for good, but i have no one else at all. I mean i do have family but its not a great relationship due to the above. 😢
Its all wrong (sorry i didnt realise i had that much to say)
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Im struggling with everything
12 replies
Itsabloodymess · 28/11/2015 18:47
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