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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Im struggling with everything

(13 Posts)
Itsabloodymess Sat 28-Nov-15 18:47:18

Dp (only hes not the dear) has left me once again i cant count on both hands and feet the amount if times over the last 6yrs that hes done this to me and dc. Hes a dick i know hes a dick but he says im the one to blame.

Our relationship was great or so i thought at first looking back there was massive red flags but i was so desperate to be loved i ignored them. Him controlling me i saw as keeping me safe him getting angry about my friends so i ditched them. Him treating me was great and i felt special only he took things back when we argued. At first it was just arguments then he would ignore me and not take my calls. I begged and pleaded with him!!! I was so desperate to be loved ( i had already been in one abusive relationship i wanted this time to be different)

Then he started ragging me with my hair or the scruff of my neck pushing me so hard he also threw things at me broke things in my home. He also hit me not punches but slaps and back hands my nose got bust and he used to stick his thumbs in my eyes so badly my eyeball got a bleed in it. There were names called at me. He cheated. He threatened and once took our ds for 3days i didnt know where they went. He blamed me for all of the above apparently i wind him up.

I cant have opinion, i cant get a job but then im lazy cos i dont work like him. Im not good enough i dont smile i cant have a laugh or joke. Ive let myself go ive put weight on.

I ashamed to say my relationship with my dcs is being affected cos my head is always hurting my stomache is in a constant knot. Im treading on eggshells and so are my dc they shouldnt be.

I need to keep him away for good, but i have no one else at all. I mean i do have family but its not a great relationship due to the above. 😢

Its all wrong (sorry i didnt realise i had that much to say)

blueistheonlycolourwefeel Sat 28-Nov-15 18:49:52

HE is wrong. What a horrible man. He is abusing you. Go and see your family and ask for their help and show them this thread. thanksthanks for you.

ImperialBlether Sat 28-Nov-15 18:51:15

Oh my god, he is a monster!

And now he's left you? Well, thank goodness for that! Now you really mustn't have him back.

Who owns the house? If it's rented, whose name is on the lease?

ishouldcocoa Sat 28-Nov-15 18:53:07

I think you should get out of this relationship asap. Its all wrong - totally wrong. Go back to your family - they may well have seen all this happening, and be there for you. You don't know until you ask.

You can't continue like this, and you cannot put your DCs through it either.

whatdoIget Sat 28-Nov-15 18:54:15

He's gouging your eyes and slapping you. He needs to be reported to the police and you need to get safe and away from him. The evil bastard angry

Pipestheghost Sat 28-Nov-15 18:53:54

Please don't take him back. What a nasty bastard. You owe it to yourself and your dc's to keep him away. Stay strong flowers

RandomMess Sat 28-Nov-15 18:59:26

Please report him to the police.

Please phone your family and tell them you need their support to end it properly and finally. It sounds like going and staying with them to protect you and your dc could be a good move?

Itsabloodymess Sat 28-Nov-15 19:00:15

The house is mine he has no claim on it, (one positive)

Yes hes left me apparently i dont appreciate what he does for us hmm i need to find some strenth from somewhere. Im dying inside.

My family sort of know not everything but the eldest has been telling my mum about the arguments.

He can be so nice at times but i guess its just a front.

ImperialBlether Sat 28-Nov-15 19:02:48

Of course it's a front. It's his way of dragging you back into his lair.

I think you could with talking to Women's Aid and to your doctor, too.

Itsabloodymess Sat 28-Nov-15 19:09:07

Im already seeing the doctor im on a long waiting list for counciling. Only thing is i havent been entirley truthful with dr (stupid i know) ive told dr nothing about exp just that im feeling anxious and stressed due to overthinking.

I am stressed and anxious i have panic attacks all through exp.

If we go on a day trip im stressed that i might have forgot something. I clean and tidy the house to the point where my hands are cracking and dry.

I cry for my dcs they are amazing.

TPel Sat 28-Nov-15 19:10:03

Imagine a life when you are not beaten and abused.

You have that now! Don't let the bastard back to ruin it.

pocketsaviour Sat 28-Nov-15 20:00:04

Okay. I think you would really benefit from talking to someone at Women's Aid. They will help you with the practical side of what to do to keep him out, and the emotional side as well so you don't feel tempted to let him back in.

Your parents and/or siblings - would they be supportive if you told them of the violence, or would they react negatively and say you should put up with it?

I think it's really important that you have some people around you in RL who know the full situation and can help you keep strong when he comes back and starts messing with your head again.

How old are your DC? Do they know he's gone?

RandomMess Sat 28-Nov-15 21:24:03

Change the locks and ensure the DC don't let him in the house.

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