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Struggling to feel I connect with people

(4 Posts)
bumbleclat Thu 26-Nov-15 22:23:30

Just that really, to look at my life you'd think I was fine in this area, I have a night at a friend's house where her and another friend of ours, play scrabble and drink tea every week which I enjoy.

Every fortnight there's some kind of get together or outing I'm invited to, I am liked it's just lately I am feeling like I just don't connect with people even though Im going through the motions of what looks like a relatively healthy social life.

I don't feel I have any friends who know the real me.

I started my first professional job as a teacher in April and none of my friends really work or care about their careers as I do. I have ended up with friends who are all 10-15 years older than me and it's only recently this seems to feel like a problem.

I have a step daughter and her mother lives 2 doors away from me, her and I get on very well and we are all spending xmas together so it's not like I have any BAD relationships it's just that none of them feel close, authentic or enjoyable.

Anyone in the same boat care to offer any advice? Thanks.

OhBeloved Thu 26-Nov-15 23:50:32

How lovely to have such a mix and number of friends.

If you are hankering after feeling closer though, I think that only comes with certain friends in certain contexts eg probably not over scrabble!

So may be choose one friend and spend some time alone in a context where you can open up and confide in her. That might make you feel more connected over time?

Flamingo1980 Fri 27-Nov-15 13:17:43

I know exactly how you feel and I have been thinking the same thing recently. People seem to really like me and I have friends etc but feel so real deep bond or connection with anyone. I'm really hankering after a 'best' friend who really gets me and who I can spend time with just actually doing nothing. I used to have this in my teens and twenties but not anymore. I walk away from time spent with people and think, "well what was the point of that?". Weird isn't it?
No advice, just saying I understand and feel the same way.

regretsihaveafew Fri 27-Nov-15 14:38:17

I also feel the same. However after being very close to a friend for a very long time we have had to go our separate ways. Things I told her along the way and confidences, things which happened along the way have got distorted in her mind and misunderstood and flung in my face [years after the events!].

So pretty much reluctant to confide in or trust anyone else again. Seems everyone has an agenda and buries jealousy and resentment. On my own but no stress or constantly worrying how the other person honestly thinks. Not always great to have someone so close.

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