had an early miscarriage, only around 4 weeks. split up from September and had one night together since. baby was definitely his. hes been a bit of pig since and has ignored me and said we can't be friends, even though he said we could at first, i feel a bit weird keeping this to myself but i don't know if it would look like some mad attempt to get him back if i told him. i feel paranoid!
i feel weird not telling him, not sure why. don't know what to do.
Did he know you were pregnant? I don't think you need to tell him unless you particularly want to. Maybe it would help for you to talk through your feelings with someone (a close friend, a GP or a counsellor) and work out what to do for the best.
I would find a proper friend to talk to about it. He won't care, which will hurt you. Also - I'm sorry to say this, he may not believe you. I had a friend who was on and off with a girl. Three times they split and three times in the weeks after they split she discovered she was pregnant when she miscarried. He'll just think you want to manipulate him into talking to you.
Don't tell him, don't see him (he's not your friend) and don't sleep with him again.
It was him who ended it and i have and still wanted to get back together. one moment he is fine and talking to me like normal, the next he says he cannot talk to me and we cannot be friends. i need to accept this so i think he will see me telling him this as a way to try and get him back? i haven't told anybody else about it yet.
I think you're right-he will see this as you trying to get back with him. It sounds like getting back in contact with him won't help you to move on, so take some time to get your head together, let the dust settle and then think about whether he to know. Look after yourself first.
Do you mean 4 weeks or 8 weeks pregnant? You are officially 4 weeks by the time of your first missed period....I wouldn't bother telling him. As others have said, he won't be interested and won't care (by the sound of it), so you will only hurt yourself more. I'm not really sure why you feel the need to tell him, if it's not an attempt to get him back.
I'm also not trying to be a bitch, I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks (period 1 week late) and I was disappointed but he may not see it as a miscarriage even. In the days before sensitive early pregnancy tests it would have been a late period. I'm just trying to say this probably won't mean much to him at all especially as presumably you weren't trying.
I partially agree with Obsidian, it was very early so it is unlikely your ex will feel the same grief as you. Although it feels like he should know, it won't make much difference and if you don't get an ideal reaction from him it will likely make you feel worse, confide in a friend or family member and take care of yourself.
The fact is that he probably wouldnt care and that would hurt you all over again.
As far as he is concerned you are not longer together, the miscarriage ended the pregnancy so there is nothing between you.
He very likely wont be sympathetic, wont give you comfort and support and may well accuse you a lying to try and get him back.
He is not a nice man and you are better off without him. I know its hard to see that now but the fact that he dumped you, then raised your hopes by using you for sex and them cut you off with barely a word does not show him in a very good light.
Take some time to heal, both from the end of your relationship and the end of the pregnancy. Be kind to yourself and stay away from him, he will only make you feel worse.