Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How can I cut lots of people in my life off without any drama or falling out?

(7 Posts)
ShowMeTheWayHere Wed 25-Nov-15 23:13:45

I have far too many arse holes in my life and I want to simplify things and relegate them all to acquaintance level. I am talking cliquey, bitchy mums from the school gate, and so-called friends that don't act very much like friends to me.

I do have some good friends, I definitely won't be cutting those off.

Has anyone done a people cleanse from their life before? Any tips or advice very welcome, thanks.

ThomasRichard Wed 25-Nov-15 23:17:28

Be unavailable. Don't initiate contact, block their numbers, unfollow on Facebook, respond briefly and vaguely to in-person contact initiated by them. A smile and a nod in passing to the school gate crowd. Be busy.

dogwalker75 Wed 25-Nov-15 23:20:16

I did this about 18-20 months ago. I just stopped responding to them and I didn't initiate contact which worked for a while (I also changed my number and deleted them from Facebook when I'd decided to cut them out altogether rather than keep them as acquaintances).

Joysmum Thu 26-Nov-15 08:48:06

Turn up to the school last minute and get your kids walking home by themselves as soon as you feel they are ready to.

When you go to school, be talking on the phone so you need to stand away from the noise.

SwearyGodmother Thu 26-Nov-15 08:54:20

I think this is what is called ghosting these days. Walk away, remove from social media, don't respond to messages and eventually block. All but the most thick skinned will get the hint.

The thick skinned ones will continue to try to make contact through whatever means they can - I ghosted some people in the early summer as they're toxic and one followed me on Bloglovin this week (I don't blog, I just use it to follow blogs) and sends me occasional emails all about her. I just delete, ignore and carry on as normal. Eventually they go away.

It's so much harder these days with mobiles/social media isn't it? In the olden days you'd just stop taking people's calls - be "out" - and that was enough. The curse of modern technology.

WorzelsCornyBrows Thu 26-Nov-15 09:00:19

I have done this in the last few years. I called it simplifying my life and that's how I justify it to DH if I turn down an invite for something. I realised that id accumulated a lot of "friends" who only contacted me when they wanted something, or if they wanted a big crowd for their birthday/wedding whatever to make themselves feel popular. I'm too busy for it all now, life is too short. I don't make excuses, just a simple "sorry I can't make that date" does the job well enough. I don't carry any bitterness toward most of them, I just needed to change my situation as I was giving too much to people who don't really care. Do it gradually if you need to. I think everyone goes through something like this at some point in their lives.

SwearyGodmother Thu 26-Nov-15 13:23:04

Eventually they go away

Ha, spoke too soon. She followed DH on a running app today. Weird.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now