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dh recently diagnosed with ASD

(11 Posts)
beau69 Wed 25-Nov-15 03:02:12

my dh was recently diagnosed with ASD also i found him on dating/chat sites.im just looking for advice as to be honest i am at point of leaving

Atenco Wed 25-Nov-15 03:29:38

They are two separate issues, IMHO. You don't have to stay with him because he has now been diagnosed with a disability.

trancelover Wed 25-Nov-15 05:00:28

i feel responsible for him.also he has seriously tried to commit suicide(before me)im not getting any support just critiscm off his family!!!

goddessofsmallthings Wed 25-Nov-15 05:46:23

You are not responsible for his diagnosis or his behaviour and you are not obliged to remain married to a man who is actively seeking to form relationships with other women.

Tell him to go and stay with his family while you come to terms with his betrayal of your marriage vows.

trancelover Wed 25-Nov-15 06:14:40

thank you for replies.i feel like im abandoning him,i also cannot carry on living in this constant nightmare.i feel humiliated and used but still i feel guilt at thought of leavinghim.

SSargassoSea Wed 25-Nov-15 06:37:50

Do family know about him being on dating sites.

If they do it sounds like they don't want to have to be responsible for someone they think could attempt suicide in the future. Prefer you to stay around and 'look after' him.

Cabrinha Wed 25-Nov-15 07:11:12

So what of he has ASD?
That's not some crazy condition that forces people to be nasty cheating bastards!
You're not leaving a man with ASD, you're leaving a cheat.

Just go.
Frankly, fuck that his family thinks.
The only thing I'd do about them is tell them that X is the day you're telling him it's over, so please arrange to be physically present in case he needs immediate support with his mental health.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 25-Nov-15 07:23:00

if you want to leave then leave. the family can go screw themselves. why should you live with a cheat.

the ASD has sod all to do with the cheating thats all him.

be kind to yourself and look after your happiness. you are not responsible fir him. what he does when you leave is his choice. do not let him control you with threats. flowers

RainbowBodyDouble Wed 25-Nov-15 07:40:24

I have ASD.
We are all different and have different quirks.

That doesn't mean you have to tolerate fucking cheating!

ASD covers loads, this is the first time I've heard of it being used to bash the DW of someone who is casting his net to catch dates hmm

It doesn't matter what he has, what he is diagnosed with or what his excuses are.

You decide where your line is mine would absolutely include online dating and if he crosses it then you must decide whether to stay and be held ransom or move on and find someone who will make you happy.

I'm no expert, I am an Autist though and I do know several others on the spectrum and although we can be obtuse about feelings and massively selfish I find it hard to believe that someone with an adult diagnosis suffers from such a niche and extreme compulsion.
Imho it's a smoke screen so he can have his cake and eat it.

Do YOU want a marriage with someone who dates other people?

Your primary responsibility is yourself flowers

kittybiscuits Wed 25-Nov-15 07:58:44

Namechange fail I think OP

kittybiscuits Wed 25-Nov-15 08:01:22

There is no cause and effect relationship between ASD and cheating. His family are being entirely selfish and have no care for you at all. I agree with the other posters. If you're done, walk away.

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