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How to get over the end of a friendship?

(7 Posts)
Flaxmax Tue 24-Nov-15 15:41:53

I don't think I'm looking for any magical answers, maybe I just need to write this down.

Someone who I once thought of as a very close friend (someone I confided information to that I didn't tell anyone else and who did vice versa) has decided that she doesn't want us to be friends anymore. There wasn't one thing that caused this to occur but our friendship had been deteriorating for a few months (mainly because we had both been going through stressful times) and we had had a number of disagreements about things. I readily accept that I have behaved badly to her and have suggested that we try and reset things and start a fresh but she doesn't see that she has also behaved badly to me and says that too much has gone on and there's no point trying to patch things up.

The problem is we work for 2 companies that are closely linked and so I see her regularly (at least weekly, sometimes more) at meetings and work events. I find it really sad that she won't even stop to chat. Often things happen that I would have sent her a text or email about but I have to hold myself back. It's like she has just blanked out that we were ever friends, in it feels like she actively dislikes me. Maybe this is what it feels like to be dumped romantically (haven't been dumped in a long time). Any words of wisdom about how to move on.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 24-Nov-15 17:23:29

Wow that sounds really harsh of her but she has made her decision and doesn't want to be friends.
Just try to treat like any other colleague.
I'm sorry you are going through this.

springydaffs Tue 24-Nov-15 20:21:09

Losing a friend really hurts - right up there imo flowers

I don't know if it's just me but your friendship sounded very intense. I've had friendships like that when I was younger and they ALWAYS imploded eventually: too intense. Obviously that makes it extremely painful when these intense friendships end (usually brutally).

These days I hold my friendships lightly. Bcs imo they don't survive at high octane - too many variables, inevitable they will crash and burn sooner rather than later. Xx

CakeMountain Wed 25-Nov-15 17:56:31

It sounds like you've done something to hurt her badly. Maybe find out what it was.

MytwinisMilaKunis Wed 25-Nov-15 18:02:15

I would just let it go. It sounds like it was getting a bit toxic. You will get over it in time and you will find it gets easier to be friendly when you see each other when the hurt has gone.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Wed 25-Nov-15 18:18:04

I had a good friend I dropped at the start of the summer. I see her weekly. I ignore her, she's a stranger to me now. Why would I want to chat with her?

Just leave her alone. She's made her choice.

whirlybird42 Wed 25-Nov-15 18:29:55

I don't think there's much you can do but chalk it up to experience. The only people I've ever dropped have been people I've felt were bad for me, game players or those who treated others badly.

I would still acknowledge them in the street but that's as far as it goes. It's awkward when you work together but polite and professional is the only way to play it. Sounds like she got tired of the drama.

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