Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Coping with being cheated on / played like a harp?

(5 Posts)
fooligan Tue 24-Nov-15 12:15:54

I watch some people who handle finding out their boyfriend is a dick with so much class and Beyonce strength, but here I am, laid in bed. Couldn't go to work. Just so down.

I really, really, really thought he was one of the good guys and he spent so long invested in breaking down my walls. I had trust issues, from being cheated on by someone else, and all he kept saying was not all men are like that and to trust him and I must know he would never hurt me.

Found out he'd been on Tinder, POF and chatting to someone else he'd met through friends and she thinks he's her boyfriend too. I split up with him after I found out about the Tinder and POF thing but the other woman is a new revelation.

What are you supposed to do to feel better? I just feel totally defeated. Are there decent men out there? Why do they do this?

Claraoswald36 Tue 24-Nov-15 14:13:19

Ouch. Didn't want to read and run. Some men are twats. It's no reflection on you flowers

Smorgasboard Tue 24-Nov-15 14:44:34

Don't take the word of any man as actions speak louder. You have found out that your past is not going to make the kind of man that cheats, any less likely to cheat with you, because of what you have already been through in the past.
In fact the reverse could be true, as displaying overt trust issues to a man will sometimes drive the trustworthy ones away - why should an honest person put up with living under suspicion? Answer- most people wouldn't. It's the ones that stick around regardless of the others trust issues that are likely the wrong ones.
You are the same as anyone else to the next man you meet, so no need to mention your past upsets, it is irrelevant. Why should you let the past define your present anyway? You need to move on from the past as it will hold you back not to. Break your own patterns to avoid ending up in the same situations. Good guys exist, bad guys often stick around longer.

Meljenks30 Tue 24-Nov-15 14:52:50

this is absolutely NOT i repeat NOT your fault.

some men are just complete dicks!!

me and my partner split up on Friday and by Saturday hes moved in with his new sorry but they were obvs doing it while we were still together.

hard to say in onwards and upwards smile dont let him win!!

fooligan Tue 24-Nov-15 15:55:58

I'm really sorry Meljenks sad

What I am starting to really wonder about is what proportion of people are like this, because it seems to me like so many are.

Maybe I do attract them, I am not sure.

I feel such awful pain and feel so inadequate. Am looking at this other woman wondering what is better about her?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: