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Hes leaving this weekend... the reality of my situation.

(9 Posts)
PeppasNanna Tue 24-Nov-15 11:57:55

He needs to leave. I've posted enough times on here. He's messed about hoping I'd give in. Hes going now as he knows im always incredibly busy the first 2 weeks of December & i actually need him here more then not (IYSWIM!)

But we've 4 dc ranging from 15 down to 2. 2 of the dc have SN. He works shifts. He has one weekend off a month. So access will be minimal.

I pay carers to help with the boys. I need to find a new childminder for the youngest. Reality is, I'm totally on my own. No family or friends in London. Thats not going to change. I can't move due to the boys schools. Even if i did my family are not close or really understand.

How do other people cope with the practical stuff? Childcare, money, DIY etc. My anxiety levels are through the roof & i need to pull myself together!

Justdisappointed Tue 24-Nov-15 12:43:03

Hi - I'm in a similar situation (also in London) and worried about the same things you are. I take it you are working if you are looking for a childminder - have you tried your local council website? Can he not help around his shifts to help or is he not interested? Certainly mine is helping when it suits him which is better than nothing I suppose.

PeppasNanna Tue 24-Nov-15 12:52:45

He works more lates & middles in earlies. He wouldnt request static shifts as it would mean he'd lose money.

No i dont work. The younger ds only started fulltime school in September, hes 7.
I use a childminder as both boys are in 2 different Special schools & have various medical &:therapy appointments that are difficult to manage but especially with a toddler as well.

Thanks for replying. I hope things improve for you.

PeppasNanna Tue 24-Nov-15 12:53:35

I will look at the council website. Thanks!

PeppasNanna Tue 24-Nov-15 20:06:26


Pipestheghost Tue 24-Nov-15 20:18:12

Do you have a social worker for your SN dc's? If not see if you can be assessed for one as they can help you access other services, such as respite, clubs etc. Scope can provide a list of childminders with experience of sn. It must be very daunting for you at the moment but I'm sure you will be okay flowers

PeppasNanna Tue 24-Nov-15 23:04:25

Yes we have a social worker from tbe disabled childrens team. She taking ages to do anything. Im trying to get redtpite for the younger boy as he currently has nothing.
The cm was forvthe youngest childcwjo doesnt have SN. Realistically ds wil probsbly get 2 hrs a week restpite & 5 days per annum at playscheme like his older brother. Most people don't realise how little restpite disabled children get.

Im also considering residential schools for secondary level as i need to go to work etc & i can't afford carers for both boys on a daily basis.

Its very overwhelming. Im tempted to tell him to not go as im worried how i will get through Christmas by myself. The practical stuff like food shopping. The tree etc...

ditherydora Wed 25-Nov-15 02:48:04

I can't really provide advice about SN services. But in terms of practical stuff for Christmas can you organise all that stuff online? Artificial tree maybe?

If your family can't help could you reach out to some of the other mums at the schools?

PeppasNanna Wed 25-Nov-15 12:33:10

Thanks. Ive soent the morning doing online shopping so only should need 1 trip to the shops before Christmas.

The other mums all have SN kids too so we cant help each other. I meet up with 1 or 2 inthe holidays bur we all live far apart so north , west &:south London.

My younger son only started his school at the end of September so i dont know any of the parents.

Both boys travel to school on school buses so contact with other parents tends to be open days or Christmas plays that sort of thing.

My sister thinks im mad to end up on my own over Christmas. She said im making my life harder ... I don't know what to do for the best.

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