Hello, NC for this one.
I'm 35, I've been married for 10 years and have three children - one toddler and two in KS1.
The marriage has never been great, although before we got married it was great and on a basic level we've always adored each other, while both having issues we needed to work through.
We hit a very rough time just over 4 years ago, when DH left for 3 months and was seeing another woman.
Since then we've muddled along, pretty much ok, but now things are bad again. I am walking on eggshells constantly, and DH says he is also, although to me it feels as though he is angry with me all the time, and I feel like I am trying to avoid confrontation, though he sees me as constantly picking at him.
We both want to make things work, but I am at a bit of a loss because I genuinely don't know if I am the problem. I get told I am. I can see some things I do that aren't good, and I see my parents do the same things so I believe I do them. DH has told me I'm not a normal person and can't have a proper relationship, and I think it may be true. But I don't think that's the whole story.
It's a big mess. Relate is out as, while we don't qualify for reduced costs, for various reasons we genuinely can't afford it. In any case, we went years ago and didn't find it helpful.
How can we start to pick through the mess?
Thanks for any help.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How do I work out the problem?
Crackerjack9 · 24/11/2015 11:39
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