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DD assaulted *Update / Ending*

(15 Posts)
Mandatorymongoose Mon 23-Nov-15 15:30:02

For anyone that happens to remember I thought I'd update with the end of / rest of the story.

This is the orginal thread from Jan 2014, I didn't want to resurrect it to update because I know people never read dates and didn't want anyone worrying!

Thread - may be triggering

We've finally been in court today for sentencing, so nearly 2 years down the line we can start to put it behind us and get on with things. The short story is that the original charge was of oral rape but the defence offered a plea to the lesser charge of sexual activity with a child. Which of course meant they implied DD consented (although being under 16 she of course couldn't actually consent).

The CPS gave DD the choice of accepting that or taking the rape charge to court. They would support her either way. After weighing up the options she decided the guaranteed conviction and avoiding giving evidence and cross examination was worth accepting the lesser charge so he was sentenced on that basis (after a million delays) today.

He will serve around 5 months in prison (sentence just over 10 months) and is subject to a sexual harm prevention order meaning he will be on the sex offenders register for 5 years. It's not enough, but given the conviction rates, it's a conviction and today that will do.

I just wanted to say thank you to the people who were on that thread back nearly 2 years ago, for their kindness - for the support and encouragement. It helped a lot at a very difficult time.

I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow without a court date hanging over us!

FlopIsMyChristmasGuru Mon 23-Nov-15 15:39:10

Well done OP and most of all well done to your daughter for having the courage to stand up and be counted and say "This is not acceptable"

I remember your original thread and it sounds like you guys made the right decision about the charge.

I hope that this allows you all to heal and move on and I hope you have a great Christmas this year.

Seriouslyffs Mon 23-Nov-15 15:40:24

You are a wonderfully strong Mum. Probably the longest legacy of this horrid event is that you DD knows you had her back and supported and believed her.
flowers for you both.

KittyandTeal Mon 23-Nov-15 15:52:02

I think I remember your original thread.

As someone who suffered years of sexual abuse and did nothing to report it I want to say just how brave your family and especially your dd is.

Well done on doing what many cant. I hope you and your dd can start a new part of your lives now flowers

P1nkP0ppy Mon 23-Nov-15 15:56:39

Brave dd and you're a super mum. I haven't read previous thread but hopefully this might help you to move forward.
flowers for both of you.

GloriaHotcakes Mon 23-Nov-15 16:01:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Mon 23-Nov-15 16:01:32

Just read your last thread, well done to you and your daughter for both being so brave. Wish you both the best for the future.

OneMoreCasualty Mon 23-Nov-15 16:04:39

I am glad he was sentenced and that you have got through this together.

pocketsaviour Mon 23-Nov-15 16:30:40

Well done to you for supporting your DD and well done to your DD for going through the process. FWIW I think it was a good decision to accept the reduced charge.

Be prepared - both of you - to suddenly go to bit emotionally now that the date has come and gone and you know the result. It's common in these situations to go struggling on through the stress, and when that stress is suddenly gone, the body and brain kind of doesn't know what to do - they've been so used to living in a state of constant tension, with a steady dose of cortisol (stress hormone) that it's almost like a withdrawal effect.

So both of you, be very kind and gentle with yourselves over the next little while, do lots of self-love things - eat yummy but healthy food, nice bubble baths, try to get fresh air and a bit of exercise every day. Give each other space, as well, if that's what you need. And above all, don't sit there saying to yourselves "WTF is wrong with me, I should be all over this by now, pull yourself together woman." You need time to process what's happened and start picking up the threads of a "normal" life again. flowers

Aramynta Mon 23-Nov-15 16:45:54

Glad to hear you both made it through Mandatory - you and your DD are amazing [thanks[

Mandatorymongoose Mon 23-Nov-15 16:49:19

DD has been amazing, she's had some really difficult times though this process, not least of which was making the decision about the charge but she's managed so well and I'm so so proud of her.

She is having some counselling and that will remain ongoing for as long as she wants it. I'll be mindful of your advice Pocket I remember having similar experiences after traumatic things previously I'll keep an eye on DD.

College interview this evening! So I'm not sure all the stress hormones will have gone, just moved on to something more positive maybe.

greypinkandpurple Mon 23-Nov-15 17:22:58

Well done OP you both stay strong and be there for each other flowers

DreamingofSummer Mon 23-Nov-15 17:31:15

Well done to you and your daughter for seeing this through to the end.

Another scumbag off the streets for a few months

janaus Mon 23-Nov-15 17:44:47

Well done to you, and especially young daughter for seeing this through. Hopefully she has saved another young girl going through this. There is something wrong with justice system that they think 5 months is enough.
I hope your daughter goes on to have a wonderful life. Put it behind you, give yourselves time to heal. This would have opened old wounds. Best wishes to you both.

mysteryknickers Mon 23-Nov-15 18:35:56

What a horrible event and subsequent journey for your DD and you. I'm full of admiration for her courage. Look after yourselves.

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