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DP and porn

(7 Posts)
lifeinslowmotion Mon 23-Nov-15 12:13:29

I started a thread in chat about DP admitting to watching porn on his mobile. A message came up saying he had viewed child porn and had to pay a fine to make it go away. It was a scam and virus but I'm so upset at the porn thing. I think he only admitted it because he needed help unblocking his mobile.

We have a young baby and a 3 year old, I am also starting a business working from home as can't afford childcare so can't go back to my job. As you can imagine I'm very tired and he has used lack of sex as an excuse for watching it.

I don't know what to say really. I'm exhausted and we spoke only yesterday about my lack of confidence in myself then he decides to do this and completely shoot it to pieces.

Elendon Mon 23-Nov-15 12:21:35

Tell him that his use of porn is disturbing and it has in fact further placed a rift sexually between you. He needs to know that his act was selfish and he now has a family. His actions have risked you and your children's financial and emotional security and future. In no uncertain terms, he either stops or he's out. If he needs help, he should sort it out. You are not his gatekeeper.

Cabrinha Mon 23-Nov-15 15:00:47

If you are too tired to have sex, he's not pulling his weight, is he?
Which is a passion killer as much as the resulting tiredness.
Tell him to go think about that next time he wants to blame you for his watching porn.

We've all got our own attitudes to porn, but fucking hell I bet no woman on here has any time for a dickhead of a partner blaming a tired mother instead of alleviating her tiredness. Arsehole.

Fratelli Mon 23-Nov-15 15:15:39

I wouldn't have a problem with my dp watching porn as it doesn't affect anything else and he did it before we got together. However, I would have a problem if he used me being tired due to him not pulling his weight as an excuse to watch it when I had asked him not to. That's really low.

ChristmasPartyDress Mon 23-Nov-15 15:20:10

Massive turn off in my opinion. As cabrinha said, lot of different attitudes to porn, imo, lot of pressure on women to be all cool about porn, so it's not a moral judgement here, but if it were me in your shoes I'd off the man. It's a turn off. I need to respect a man to be turned on by him and sleep with him.

Joysmum Mon 23-Nov-15 16:01:56

We've all got our own attitudes to porn, but fucking hell I bet no woman on here has any time for a dickhead of a partner blaming a tired mother instead of alleviating her tiredness. Arsehole

Ditto. No issues with porn but every issue with somebody not seeing tiredness as a reason to need to step up more.

Jan45 Mon 23-Nov-15 16:10:33

A 3 year old and a baby and he actually has the nerve to blame you not having sex with him - I think your issue is bigger than him watching a bit of porn, he sounds utterly selfish.

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