I have severe depression how can I make it go?

[AmandaMckinelly]

I'm 24 and have a two year old daughter , about 5 month ago I found out my nana who raised me has breast cancer , my fiancé had been sleeping with my friend for a year and in the midst of all this I was moving house, the toll of it all at first was agonising but it has gotten worst over the months when it should be getting better I have not been described but I know I am depressed and I have avoided getting help for so long but tonight is sort of a wake up call and I plan to ring the doctors first thing Monday morning, I suffer a lot from the memory's of the things that have happened to me I cry every day and get so angry and sickened thinking about the affair, I stayed with my partner who I must say has been very remorseful and has done everything right since the only problem is I can't let go and bring it up excessively upsetting us both, my sleeping has got so bad I literally don't as soon as I get in bed I'm in tears and have to go downstairs again I mostly fall asleep about 6am and wake with my daughter at 8ish if she naps I take a nap other than that it's impossible to sleep at night for me. I never go out anymore or even get dressed it is becoming unbearable I honestly think if it wasn't for my little girl I would of give up but I need to find the help to be the mum I once was for her

[DawnMumsnet]

Hi Amanda,

Sorry you're going through such a tough time.

We think you'll get some good advice and support if we move this thread over to our Relationships topic.

If you'd rather we moved it over to our Mental Health topic, please report the thread and we'll do that for you straight away.

We really hope things start looking up for you soon.

[Neverletmego27]

Hi Amanda , your gp can help. I haven't got much to say except that I had severe depression for a couple of years and with time, medication and counselling, it did go. Wishing you the best of luck with it.

[maggiethemagpie]

I used to have severe, suicidal depression several times a yea. It's a wonder I'm still here . Since having intensive psychotherapy six years ago I haven't had it once.

[Mandatorymongoose]

GP is a great call, go and tell them what you've said here or even just take your phone with and let them read it.

Antidepressants are a great help for a lot of people, psychological therapies are also brilliant but there is often a bit of a waiting list.

In the meantime there are things you can do to help yourself a bit. Try looking at mindfulness, it can be useful when you feel overwhelmed with sadness to just re center yourself.

Try and do a little bit of exercise everyday, I know getting motivated to do it is hard but make it your goal, just a walk round the block with your DD. Break it in to small tasks, putting trousers on, brushing your hair - let each one be a victory, if you don't manage the first time or you miss a day don't give up.

Get support where ever you can, tell people, it's easy to avoid people when you feel depressed but if they come to you it can force you to socialise and you end up feeling better for it.

Mostly be kind to yourself, you've had a ridiculous amount of stress to deal with, it's no wonder you need a bit of support now

[RiceCrispieTreats]

Hi Amanda

You've been through a lot! It would trigger a dark period for anyone. Well done for noticing that your dark thoughts are getting the better of you, and for planning to call the GP on Monday. That is a brilliant move, and sign that you are taking good care of yourself.

I had a bout of severe depression 5 years ago, with a lifelong tendency towards depression. That particularly bad bout prompted me to get psychotherapy, and to make a LOT of other life changes (both inner and outer).

I can really feel the difference now.

So you can make depression go. The first thing to do is to reach out for help, as you are doing. Well done, keep going.

[TheGirlWhoWasntThere]

Oh Amanda you have had so much to deal with in such a short space of time. I'm so sorry to hear about your Nana, it is so clear in your post how much you love her.
Definitely you must go to see your doctor, they are the best people to help with your depression and can not only help medically but arrange for you to see a councillor.
I am so sorry you are feeling so unwell and I hope you feel stronger and happier really soon.

[timelytess]

You’re having a tough time!
Moving house is one of life’s major stresses you know, like divorce, bereavement and giving birth. And look at you – you’ve done these or things much like them over the past two years. Too much for one person to cope with, no wonder you’re collapsing under the strain.
I’m glad you’re going to talk this over with your doctor.
Counselling will help you deal with intrusive memories – ask your doctor to put you on a waiting list. It can be a long wait but its worth it.
Perhaps think seriously about getting rid of the partner. While he’s with you, his unfaithfulness can go on hurting you. I don’t know who is suggesting you should ‘let it go’ – you have been betrayed and you have every right to be upset, long-term.
If you don’t go to sleep as soon as you go to bed, getting up is a good idea, its sometimes recommended by sleep experts. So don’t feel bad, just get up. Not an expert but a young person I know told me that when she can’t sleep she gets up and starts ironing – three or four garments in and she’s ready to lie down again. Napping with your daughter is a good survival strategy, not a bad habit.
Not going out and not getting dressed really are symptoms of depression so its possible your self-diagnosis is spot on. Walking is free, easy and it fights depression for you. So getting dressed and out is a good thing if you can face it. Do it once. Next time will be easier.
Finding help for the sake of your little girl is the right thing to do. But you are also an important person, someone who needs to be cared for and treasured, so its worth getting help for your own sake, too.

[MummyC92]

Wow that's a lot you have had to deal with in a short time.. Although my situation was different, after a car accident a few years back I was left with anxiety and trouble sleeping etc. I bit the bullet and had a course of psychotherapy. It was the best thing I ever could have done, my anxiety was affecting my son as I felt constantly worried something would happen so became a 'helicopter parent'. The therapist talked through it all and gave me coping techniques if I did get anxious or down. If this is a possibility for you I would suggest this route.. I'm not sure if you are able to get treatment via the nhs? Worth chatting to the gp and if no luck there are private therapists that would be worth the cost! Best wishes.

[AmandaMckinelly]

Yes I kind off read back over this and realised I must of been looking for a way to vent my feelings somewhere since I didn't ask a question really think it was more I need the support and it's hard to get it from friends I don't see much nomore and I can't put this one my nana with all her struggles she's the one really hurting :( to add as well it all happened the same week in summer I started moving house , my nana then told me of her illness and two days later I found the messages between my fiancé and friend I had. Mini break down I left my daughter with my fiancée mother and stayed at a friends for the night we spoke all night but that was the only real therapy I got the next day it was back to moving back to my daughters beck and call and I could never let me nana know just how much it's killing me with all her worrys

[AmandaMckinelly]

Thank you so much lady's for the support it means a lot x

[stabbypokey]

Five years ago, I wrote letters to my family explaining why they should be happy that I was dead. Of course that was wrong. At the time I didn't see it. Everyone is missed and loved, even if they don't feel it. I'm so glad I didn't follow through on my impulse. I have an amazing life now.