My partner wanted to end our relationship about 3 months ago saying that she just didn't want to be in a relationship any more with me or anyone. We were having a few issues but nothing I thought we couldn't sort out. We have a young daughter together. I have spent the last few months trying to persuade her but feel I've only pushed her further away - I've been calling and texting and realise now that I should probably just give her some time and space.
I honestly don't know what to do for the best. She has ended it before and then we got back together and quite a few times in the past she has blown hot and cold. I guess she will never change as a person but for some reason this time around it has hurt me more. She has said things like "who knows what the future will bring" and "everything will work out ok in the end". She has said that it's definitely over but at the same time I think she hasn't truly let go. I bet if I know try and give her space and not contact her she will start texting and wondering why I haven't been in touch.
I obviously want to ask her know and again how our daughter is but how often is reasonably? A text every other day just simply saying "How is xxx?"
Hi. Thanks for the replies. DD lives about an hours drive away so it is quite difficult seeing her during the week due to work committments - at the moment I have her alternate weekends but try my hardest to see her in between - ie take a longer lunch break and pick her up from nursery and have spend a couple of hours with her.
I have DD this weekend and ex has just texted to ask if we have snow and what DD thinks of it - do I ignore or reply??
Feel like I'm treading on eggshells most of the time.
I think she is just very insecure - I don't necessarily feel bullied but I do feel that she is in control, probably because she is the primary carer for DD. My low mood is currently making me feel very isolated and lonely and I guess I've been wanted her back to remove those feelings. I don't know. I just feel like a right old mess at the moment :-(
I don't think you need to be texting to ask how she is. Your ex should be telling you if she's not OK, other that you should assume she is.
It's great if you can have a relationship where you do send spontaneous updates about unusual things - like the snow! But there's no actual need to be asking how she is and I think it's better not to live in each other's pockets.
How have you ended up an hour's drive away? Sort that, if you possibly can.
Agree child contact and as your ex is clearly flaky, don't take any deviation from it lightly.