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I'm married to the nastiest, shittiest dick in all the land...and I want to cast a spell

(57 Posts)
FundraisingPTABitch Sat 21-Nov-15 03:09:41

So that all the love, effort, comfort, support I've given to this fucker comes back to me 20x more every single day and that I live a long long long time...

So that no one ever loves him again, and he walks this entire world for the next 80 years without feeling the love and comfort I provided him. I also want him to feel every single painful feeling he has caused me. I want him to feel just as lonely as I do in this marriage. I want him to feel every pain I felt during both my pregnancies carrying his children.

I want him to regret every mean thing he has ever said to me. I want him to regret every time he's ignored me. I want him to regret losing the beautiful home and family I gave him.

I want him to get really really fat, with swollen ankles. I want him to get kidney stones the size of watermelons weighing 11lbs and 8lbs respectively.

I want him to have to piss out both stones.

I want him to never have a delicious meal ever again.

I want him to discover the true nature of his fucked up family.

I wish the shittiest gifts of all time for the rest of his life.

I wish every single one of his electronics never work ever.

I wish his wifi connection to be slow, slower than my metabolism.

I wish for the world to remind him of the beautiful 9 years I gave him and of the 9 shitty years he gave me.

CaoNiMao Sat 21-Nov-15 03:20:08

But will all of that make you feel any better, in all honesty?

Fluffybrain Sat 21-Nov-15 03:32:52

I think venting your feelings on here will make you feel better. Vent away OP. I particularly enjoyed the line..."I wish his wifi connection to be slow, slower than my metabolism". This is genius!

toastyarmadillo Sat 21-Nov-15 03:41:44

Sadly a spell wouldn't be the answer, that pesky law of "what ever you wish on others will happen to you or yours three fold... ya da"

Love the broadband bit though, gonna use that next time someone annoys me wink

Iflyaway Sat 21-Nov-15 03:48:20

Ah, I get your sentiment but you're wasting precious mental energy on the wrong thing.

Spend it on getting free of the bastard!

janaus Sat 21-Nov-15 04:07:25

I love your Spell and venting. If only we could wave a magic wand. Good luck in the future you deserve so much more.

mathanxiety Sat 21-Nov-15 04:14:47

Are you divorcing him? There will come a time when you honestly feel he isn't worth wasting your energy on, but I understand how raw and angry you feel right now, and that isn't going to go away except with the passage of a certain amount of time, and only then if he manages to somehow be a decent ex partner and co parent.

Wishing you a really good life from here on flowers

millionsmom Sat 21-Nov-15 04:24:33

Love the WiFi bit!
Vent away, there's something cathartic about it. I wonder if it's because it gets it all out and it's not 'there' festering away like a nasty pus filled boil.

flowers for you and hoping your future will be marvellous. And with super duper fast Wifi grin

RedMapleLeaf Sat 21-Nov-15 05:21:55

If only we knew someone into spell casting around here...

Anniegetyourgun Sat 21-Nov-15 05:28:41

In a way your spell has already come true. Because you are getting out of this awful situation and will find love and happiness again (not predicting romance necessarily, that's up to you, but love can be found in all sorts of places). But he will always have to live with a festering soul.

sakura Sat 21-Nov-15 08:36:26

I think your spell is fabulous. I'm not sure why others are trying to water it down!!!
You have every right to anger and all these other emotions that you're experiencing. Every right.

sakura Sat 21-Nov-15 08:38:01

"Whatever you wish on others" is a rubbish mantra-- women are allowed to want revenge. It's allowed. The spell is the perfect way to so this.

0dfod Sat 21-Nov-15 08:44:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorindaStrong Sat 21-Nov-15 08:45:20

I agree with Sakura. I am a fan of old style curses.

Op, use that anger for improving your life as well flowers

ThomasRichard Sat 21-Nov-15 09:01:10

Scratch it onto a sheet of copper and throw it into the Roman Spa in Bath grin Some fabulous curses have been found there.

Lweji Sat 21-Nov-15 09:05:34

Such a good opportunity for our lovely witch troll, and it has been missed so far. Oh, well.

More seriously, you will be better off moving on and working on your happiness, not being bothered about how he is or what happens to him.

ALaughAMinute Sat 21-Nov-15 09:06:15

Sounds like you've been through a tough time OP. Sending positive thoughts and wishing you well. flowers

kerbs Sat 21-Nov-15 09:20:51

I hear you OP.

TooSassy Sat 21-Nov-15 09:26:27

OP. flowers

Sorry for the pain you are going through. As others have said, take this anger/ sadness and channel it into focussing on getting out. You will get out, move on and your life will be the better for it.

Love the venting btw. This is the best place for it and you're not alone in feeling these emotions.

ssd Sat 21-Nov-15 09:45:13

I hope it happens op

ssd Sat 21-Nov-15 09:46:33

although in my experience, he'll go on to have a great life and yours will continue as it is

karma is a load of crap and life is never fair.

NashvilleQueen Sat 21-Nov-15 09:48:41

If you'd posted this on FB it would have gone viral!

Dowser Sat 21-Nov-15 09:55:33

The best way forward is to live your life well and wish all good things for yourself and others.

I fel like you. I didn't curse him I used that angry energy to ensure I lived the very best life. Once I was over the rawness of the hurt I had a blast. I wouldn't have had him back for anything.

I met mynew husband 3 months after the decree absolute came through. We got married in September this year.

We are having a blast still.

My exh got a very nasty form of cancer and died last Christmas. he got to live the years away from me in deep down torment, although he pretended all was well not seeing your beloved daughter and three grandchildren for six years and then after a very brief period of reconciliation to still be estranged at the time of death must have really hurt.

Very sad indeed. He even rejected my attempts to make peace .

One of the women he had an affair with , he married, despite telling our son he didn't love her.

Karma has a strange way of working out. He married a nurse.

So live your life to the max. Live it like he never mattered enough to cause you pain. I had over 30 years of it

ShebaShimmyShake Sat 21-Nov-15 10:01:58

I'm sorry you're going through such a painful and difficult time. But with that black sense of humour, I think you're going to come out the other side winning, like a very sarcastic phoenix rising from its ashes.

StrawberryTeaLeaf Sat 21-Nov-15 10:02:40

I want him to get really really fat, with swollen ankles. I want him to get kidney stones the size of watermelons weighing 11lbs and 8lbs respectively

Because 'getting really really fat' and passing kidney stones is exactly like pregnancy and birth? hmm

Have you considered cutting the arms of his suits and giving his wine away?

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