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Self pity, mummy!

(5 Posts)
Beautifulbella Sat 21-Nov-15 00:06:09

I'm so fed up! I don't even know where to start, Ive currently moved into a new home with my dd who is 16w and my oh also mil. As my mil was left alone in a rather large house and we felt she needed support and family near by. I don't work as I had a horrible time with the company I worked at whilst pregnant which lead to me quitting. The only income we have is mil benefits and mine, although my oh works, but I wouldn't even notice his finically support.
Things have gotten so bad, we are just about managing, yet oh had a great job with great pay. But I don't see a penny towards lo or household. For the last two months I have been paying all the bills, getting in all the food and paying for items lo needs, as I'm not allowing her to go without. I feel like oh is just so bloody selfish, I speak to him almost every night saying I am going to need him to contrive and his excuses are laughable. Last week he got paid he spent £35 in a supermarket for food in the household and £40 for his work lunches, please bear in mind I spent at least £80 a week on food etc. When I said I will need finically help towards lo this Xmas he said sure until I told him how much please bear in mind it was a stupid minimum amount he started ranting and raving about how he had to get all his family presents, I have family too but my lo presents tend to come before there's and then selfishly he invited his 5btothers and sisters for Christmas dinner when he damn right knows we can't afford it. When I pulled him on this he said he will pay for it, yet he can't help pay towards clothes for his daughter, food or rent. I'm at braking point all I do it cry where I have becoming so stressed. I'm trying not to let it affect lo but I'm so sleep deprived where her sleeping. Pattern has become horrible and he still doesn't help. I just don't know what do to. I feel like I'm drowning under all this pressure.

Oysterbabe Sat 21-Nov-15 10:36:23

This sounds terrible sad
I think you need to sit down, put all the finances on the table and work out a budget that is fair and involves him supporting his family. If he won't then I think you need to consider whether you would be better off as a single mum, you practically are anyway.

pocketsaviour Sat 21-Nov-15 12:06:10

Are you married or just co-habiting? Who do you rent from, private or LA?

Cabrinha Sat 21-Nov-15 13:54:34

What the fuck?
He's a financially abusive arsehole.
Speak to Women's Aid.
And don't be cooking Xmas dinner for all his family with a 20 week old baby to care for. hmm

Epilepsyhelp Sat 21-Nov-15 14:08:47

If you're married divorce him, then he'll be forced to share his wages with you.

He sounds absolutely disgusting, was he always this way?

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