Hello. I am new to here but i really need some advice. Ive been through a lot this year in my personal life which is probably irrelevant but throughout the last few months i have developed a friendship with an old friend. We have been messaging one another every day for months and for around 5 months now he has never missed a day getting in touch and he has never gone to sleep without wishing me goodnight with kisses. Nothing sexual was said. As probably was inevitable i developed feelings for him. He regularly visits my home, lends me things, gives me advice and over the last few months has been a huge support to me both practically and emotionally. He has brought his teenage son to my house when he has been dropping things off. He calls round even in the pouring rain for a cuppa.
On friday night i went out for a few drinks with friends and had too many. When i got home, i messaged him to tell him i was home as i usually would. The conversation developed and i ended up blurting out that i had feelings for him. He said he would come round immediately and came straight here. I have a hazy recollection of much of it but i know we kissed and as we went for it a second time he told me he had a girlfriend.
I just cannot believe it. I am so shocked. He says he should have told me and i believe he is sorry. He says he is devastated, not eating or sleeping etc and had no idea i had these feelings and he is sorry he has hurt me. How can he say that when he has been in touch with me every day. We are so close, really close. He's become one of my best friends and i can't believe he has lied. I would never have developed feelings like this if i had known he had a partner. By not telling me he has taken that choice away. He says he doesn't want to lose me and that he wants to keep spending time with me. I don't want to lose him but i don't know what to do. He has been so kind to me, Why would he be in constant touch with me if all he felt was platonic friendship. He messages me every single day and night. I feel i need an explanation but he just says he has misread the situation. This has been going on for 6 months. I am shocked and devastated. Do i retain him as a friend? I really don't know where to go from here. I truly believe he is as devastated as I am and that he does care about me. I'm just so confused and hurt
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Please help me with relationship advice
Becki75 · 17/11/2015 17:09
Not at all sure what is going on here but the first thing that sprang to mind reading your post was, what kind of "close friend" omits to tell you that they have a girlfriend? I wonder if his girlfriend knows he is spending so much time and emotional energy with you?
I would want a very clear explanation of why he's not been honest with you, at the very least and take it from there.
Sorry you've had such a nasty shock. 
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