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Partner making porn

(84 Posts)
snetmums Tue 17-Nov-15 15:05:14

Going to be a quick post but...

You've been with said partner for around eighteen months .

He is a hobbyist/amateur photographer.

You've discovered that he has in the past, and occasionally still does, photographs and participate in porn images. (Mostly POV, or camera obviously set up on tripod).

Your partner claims you shouldn't be upset, as it's just 'acting'. He is in his late forties, all women in photos appear to be in mid twenties.

How would you deal with this? My instinct is to get away asap, or am I being a 'prude' as has been implied?

Seeyounearertime Tue 17-Nov-15 15:09:12

My attitude is either you can handle it or you can't. If you can, great, stay with him and crack on. If you can't, LTB.

Personally, I'd LTB, but that's me. I'd find it creepy and seedy etc.

snetmums Tue 17-Nov-15 15:11:00

I do find it creepy and it actually made me feel physically ill. He says I am overreacting but I don't think I am. Think I need to tell him it's over...

whatdoIget Tue 17-Nov-15 15:11:26

LTB especially as he hasn't told you

KinkyAfro Tue 17-Nov-15 15:11:28

Agree with seeyou, it would be a deal breaker for me

Lucyp0sh Tue 17-Nov-15 15:12:06

Run a mile....blush

Zippingupmyboots Tue 17-Nov-15 15:13:44

So he's having sex with other women now, filming it, and you're expected to be ok with it? I don't think so.

ImperialBlether Tue 17-Nov-15 15:14:11

I'd think it was really seedy and depressing. A bit like those people who were on that Channel 4 programme about dogging.

ALaughAMinute Tue 17-Nov-15 15:15:04

Run and don't look back!

ImperialBlether Tue 17-Nov-15 15:15:31

So he's been sleeping with you while doing this and he hadn't told you until recently?

wickedwaterwitch Tue 17-Nov-15 15:16:34

Ewwww LTB

buymeabook Tue 17-Nov-15 15:17:02

Is this one of those things where he calls it 'acting' but really he's just using prostitutes, as opposed to being paid by a porn company.

MissApple Tue 17-Nov-15 15:22:06

Bloody gross! Ewww! How long before he wants to get you involved??

Finola1step Tue 17-Nov-15 15:24:58

Good question buymeabook

Does he sell his creations? Or are they for his own personal use?

Twinklestein Tue 17-Nov-15 15:26:23

Just pics, really? They take stills on porn sets.

PurpleGreenAvocado Tue 17-Nov-15 15:27:26

I'd LTB.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 17-Nov-15 15:28:46

LTB and get an STD check.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Tue 17-Nov-15 15:29:30

That's one of the more comical excuses/reasons I've heard for having sex with other women - "it's ok love, I'm acting". grin

troubleatmillcock Tue 17-Nov-15 15:29:57

Ugh.

LTB.

Arfarfanarf Tue 17-Nov-15 15:31:14

It really doesn't matter whether he thinks you're a prude or not. You have the right to say what is and is not acceptable to you and 'he thinks I am a prude' is not a reason to accept what to you is unacceptable. I mean really he's just saying accept this and do not complain about it, isn't he?

I wouldn't want to be with someone who used young women like this and I would laugh in their face if they claimed my problem with it was I am a prude.

DowntonDiva Tue 17-Nov-15 15:31:23

Honestly I would be highly uncomfortable with this.

Never ignore your instinct, its telling you all you need to know. Run!

sarah00001 Tue 17-Nov-15 15:32:16

You should definitely leave him. How dare he say you shouldn't get upset! Also, it might be a good idea for you to have a sexual health screening to be on the safe side, even if you've used condoms.

Orangeanddemons Tue 17-Nov-15 15:33:57

Ugh, just ugh. Creepy. Sounds like his doing the photography habit to indulge his love of porn...

hellsbellsmelons Tue 17-Nov-15 15:36:06

Not a chance in hell would I be with someone who did this.
Makes my skin crawl thinking about it.
And deffo STD check! Yeeuuukkkk....

PassiveAgressiveQueen Tue 17-Nov-15 15:39:05

whether you are a prude or not is irrelevant, the fact he thinks you are means you are incompatible and it will only cause problems.

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