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Boyfriend sends nude pic of himsel to a grandom girl- Advice needed!

(36 Posts)
JoannaB92 Mon 16-Nov-15 14:16:30

So this if the first post I've done on this website so please bear with me if this sounds a little novice.

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 months now. It' s safe to say we are in love and I love him more and more every day. We live about 45 minutes drive away from each other but he always takes his time to drive to me (as don't drive) and takes me on romantic dates and is so very loving and caring towards me and my son of 3.

Last Friday I was sat at work and I had a strange message on Facebook from a girl who I don't even know with a screen shot of a conversation between her and my boyfriend basically arranging to meet up for coffee. He then sent her a fully naked picture of himself which shows in the screen shot. She then went on to say 'Sort your boyfriend out' which infuriated me as I don't even know the girl!

I went to message her back to get more information but she must of blocked me. My boyfriend then picked me up from work I was raging but waited till I put my son to bed because I didn't want him to see me angry. I confronted him about it and he said it was just a girl he knew before me and thought it would be okay to meet her for coffee as it would be innocent. He then went on to say that the picture was meant to be sent for me and not her and showed me the messages he sent to her telling her it was an accident and to delete the picture and all she said back was 'What would your girlfriend say if she knew?'

I find it very hard to believe that he could accidently send someone a picture as this was done on whatsapp and we never use it to contact each other. On the other hand I do love him and really don't want to leave him but I feel like I cant trust him and there has been incidents where I've seen him messaging random girls to meet up but he always says they are 'friends'

Im so confused would love to know what other people would do in this situation

Anastasie Mon 16-Nov-15 14:18:22

Oh you poor thing. You and your little one don't need this idiot in your lives and he is almost certainly lying to you.

I'm really sorry.

If it were me, I'd not waste another second of my time on him. But it's up to you what to do next.

Anastasie Mon 16-Nov-15 14:19:31

flowers by the way.

CocktailQueen Mon 16-Nov-15 14:21:23

He's lying to you. Don't waste another second of your life on him. You can do some much better! He's taking you for a fool.


timelytess Mon 16-Nov-15 14:25:06

Four months? Its not safe to say you are in love - he has no commitment to you at all.

You do have a commitment. To a three year old who depends on you. Stop bringing random men into his life.

Ditch the 'boyfriend'.

JoannaB92 Mon 16-Nov-15 14:25:55

Thank you your replies its just so hard because I love him and my son loves him too. Its the first man I've trusted since his dad walked out on us and I just feel so let down sad I haven't given decision yet as I've told him to give me a bit of space to think

JoannaB92 Mon 16-Nov-15 14:27:58

We have been together for four months I've known him for over a year as I wanted to get to know him first

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 16-Nov-15 14:28:22

He needs to now be your ex boyfriend.

He is telling you lies and has likely lied throughout. Its an almighty leap to jump from meeting her for coffee to sending her a naked picture of himself. Of course he did not send this accidently; it was all deliberate on his part.

Your relationship bar really now needs to be raised a lot higher and urgently so particularly as you have your son.

NewLife4Me Mon 16-Nov-15 14:31:21

He's lying to you.
You need to step away from him now and certainly don't involve him with your child.
4 months is nothing, at least you've found out before you have got close to him.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 16-Nov-15 14:31:57

Wow - you picked a winner there!
Please don't believe this tossers lies.
4 months is a short amount of time.
Time to cut and run away from this loser.

Please contact Womens Aid and ask to enrol to do their Freedom Programme.
If you can't attend in person (10 week course) then you can do it on-line.
It teaches you how to spot red flags and set yourself some boundaries.

None of this OK and you should NOT be putting up with it.

ImperialBlether Mon 16-Nov-15 14:33:16

Just what the others have said. He's a liar and a wannabe cheat and he doesn't deserve you or your child.

Anastasie Mon 16-Nov-15 14:33:12

Well that feeling of being in love can and does pass, and there can be others, it is just a passing feeling. What matters is what the person is like underneath - this guy has proven himself to be a liar, untrustworthy and thinks he can fool you.

There are 7 billion people in the world, please don't let it be him you choose.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 16-Nov-15 14:33:47

Think again and a lot harder next time before you introduce any man into his life.

What did you learn about relationships when growing up?.

Rebuild your life by further working on raising your low self worth through counselling if necessary. This man is clearly not at all to be trusted; he needs to become your ex.

I think your love for this individual is actually based more on an unhealthy co-dependency or perhaps a fear of being alone.

NewLife4Me Mon 16-Nov-15 14:35:23

whoops, just read your son loves him too.
I'd wait a long long time before introducing your child to another fella.
Not meaning to sound harsh but your ds deserves better than this, stay single for a while until you are able to tell sooner whether a man is a good bet or not.

wrapsuperstar Mon 16-Nov-15 14:35:46

I would dump him in the blink of an eye -- 4 months is no time at all. You might love him but he clearly doesn't love you. sad

Your DS clearly needs a better role model in his life than this sad waste of space. Facebook woman did you both a favour.

whodhavethoughtit Mon 16-Nov-15 14:53:54

he is lying. Where is your self esteem tat you think this is how little you deserve?

TempusEedjit Mon 16-Nov-15 15:15:36

If these random girls are "friends" then surely you'd have heard about them before just as you would his male friends.

Has he sent you nude pictures of himself before? If not then what are the chances of him getting it wrong the very first time he does?

JoannaB92 Mon 16-Nov-15 15:18:04

Thanks for all your responses. Yes I must admit I do find it hard to be confident in myself especially after the relationship with my LO's father.

The reason why I wanted to get advice is to build up the courage to actually act upon this as I always question every decision I make.

JoannaB92 Mon 16-Nov-15 15:19:51

Some of them I hadn't heard of but he does have a lot of friends as he is very sociable. Yes he has sent me loads of pictures before but not for a while

TempusEedjit Mon 16-Nov-15 15:46:53

So presumably sending pictures is something he does in the early stages of getting to know someone?

Had he been messaging you at the same time as his "friend" on the day those screenshots were taken and would your conversation with him been in context of him sending you a picture? If not then how could he have sent the picture to her instead of you by accident? (even then I'd find it weird for my DH to send me a cock shot whilst simultaneously arranging coffee with someone else!)

StillDrSethHazlittMD Mon 16-Nov-15 15:51:03

Advice is unanimous. Ditch the git. I'm surprised you need to ask advice on that.

RiceCrispieTreats Mon 16-Nov-15 15:56:40

What do you feel like doing now?

Has posting here given you the courage you were looking for?

whodhavethoughtit Mon 16-Nov-15 16:00:36

relationship with your ex? What was that about? You appear damaged by that, and if so what steps can you take so you don't end up in another bad relationship in future?

JoannaB92 Mon 16-Nov-15 19:12:37

I have broken up with him it was hard but I managed to do it I actually feel so much better now, it really did help getting your views on this and deep down I knew that I couldn't carry on with him. Now I can move on and concentrate on my son and it definitely will be a long time before I even think about getting into another relationship. I just hate been taken for a fool as in my last relationship he spent most of it on dating sites and I kept taking him back until he decided to leave me which was a kick in the teeth.

RiceCrispieTreats Mon 16-Nov-15 19:17:17

Onward and upward. Yes, it's hard to break up with someone you'd loved and trusted, and you can be kind to yourself while you grieve for what you'd hoped for.

But you are the master of your own life, and you can create one for yourself that is far more satisfying than life with a man who does not respect you.

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