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Caught DTD

(228 Posts)
AtSea1979 Sun 15-Nov-15 19:53:33

So DS (10) walked in. I thought the door was locked, it wasn't. He doesn't want to talk about it. I don't know how much he saw/knows.
I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone, just dating, which I think makes it harder.
How do others DTD as kids get older? Especially when you are in early relationship and don't want to put a guy off by only having sex once a fortnight when DS at his dad's!

witsender Sun 15-Nov-15 20:00:16

Had he met the person before? I'm no expert, but would think that any man woryh his salt would respect you keeping him away from your son until things were serious.

pestilence13610 Sun 15-Nov-15 20:01:40

Pinch a 'do not disturb' sign from a hotel. Only use it for DTD and expect to hear the DC having loud conversations (outside the bedroom door) about the oldies being at it again.
Children really are the best form of contraception grin

Pooka Sun 15-Nov-15 20:04:07

I don't think it's fair to your do if you're putting him in awkward position by bringing bloke to yours. Was he staying over? If ds has not met the guy, or its not a prospective serious relationship, it should not happen while he's around IMO.

If the bloke is a good guy, then surely he'd understand that your do is a priority?

Joysmum Sun 15-Nov-15 20:05:34

We had a hook and eye on the top of our door and frame. Now we have a room with a twisty lock on it the same as the bathroom.

We often have the radio on evenings and mornings etc so nothing unusual in that to drown out noise.

pieceofpurplesky Sun 15-Nov-15 20:07:06

If the guy is out off by you thinking about your child and what is best for him then he is not worth it. I think you did the wrong thing in the first place having sex with someone you are dating, casually it seems in your OP, when there was any changes chance of DC finding out

pieceofpurplesky Sun 15-Nov-15 20:07:58

Put off

WickedWax Sun 15-Nov-15 20:16:53

I don't understand.

It's not a serious relationship but this man is staying over, and/or having sex with you in your home while your DS is around?

So does your DS think he's only a friend or do you introduce your DS to everyone you're 'just dating'? If it's the latter than maybe you need to have a word with your DS about not coming into your bedroom while there's a man in the house.

AtSea1979 Sun 15-Nov-15 20:17:35

Isn't that a contradiction? How can I get to know I guy better if I can't see him at mine when DC sleeping? It's hard and expensive getting babysitters. I was wondering how others cope when they become teenagers.

noclueses Sun 15-Nov-15 20:19:37

surely a good lock on the door would help?

MySordidCakeSecret Sun 15-Nov-15 20:19:49

oh dear your poor ds.

AtSea1979 Sun 15-Nov-15 20:21:20

Yes I'll def double check the lock! But surely as teenagers they'd know

PenelopePitstops Sun 15-Nov-15 20:21:40

I think you need to be more careful. Has ds met the man before?

Yes it's hard to date but you need to protect your ds. Get the lock sorted asap and make it normal for you to have music /radio on.

noclueses Sun 15-Nov-15 20:22:10

they know but they don't want to see you doing it (ouch)

PenelopePitstops Sun 15-Nov-15 20:22:12

Even if they know, it stops them seeing ffs.

Shockers Sun 15-Nov-15 20:22:49

Had DS been out and you weren't expecting him home?

noclueses Sun 15-Nov-15 20:23:12

hopefully you were covered by the duvet, mostly.

AnyFucker Sun 15-Nov-15 20:23:20

he's not a teenager, he is 10

I think you are more than entitled to a sex life, but I am not sure that getting caught having it off with a random in your house by a 10yo is at all acceptable, tbh

I imagine you do what all other single parents do and shag your brains out when dc are with the other parent. If this guy was anywhere decent he would understand that you come as part of a package and that "sleepovers" might be off the agenda for a while or at least until he is more of a constant in your life

you don't need male attention that much, do you ?

Workinprogress2015 Sun 15-Nov-15 20:24:38

You do realise a 10 year old is not a teenager.

AtSea1979 Sun 15-Nov-15 20:24:29

No he got up in the night. What do you mean it stops them seeing? Surely this is a one off! I'm just wondering how others manage with teenagers, even with locks surely they know. I can honestly say I never knew my parents did it!

MySordidCakeSecret Sun 15-Nov-15 20:25:32

tbh i think i'd be a pretty unhappy child if i lived in a home where my mother was regularly sleeping with men i didn't know.. and uncomfortable hmm

ClassicMonkey Sun 15-Nov-15 20:27:25

I think you need to keep your love life away from your DS until it's serious

MySordidCakeSecret Sun 15-Nov-15 20:27:42

does your ds know this man? or is it some casual bloke you've got sleeping there while he's in bed..

OrangeSquashTallGlass Sun 15-Nov-15 20:27:42

'How do others DTD as kids get older? Especially when you are in early relationship and don't want to put a guy off by only having sex once a fortnight when DS at his dad's!'

I don't actually think it's unreasonable that you should wait two weeks to have sex with a guy you're dating in order to protect your son. It's only two weeks and your ds is only 10.

MySordidCakeSecret Sun 15-Nov-15 20:28:55

sounds very dodgy to me sorry but put your son first.

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