As the title says. I never grew up with my birth mother instead I was brought up for the majority of my life by an extended family member lets call her my aunt. She has 4 children of her own but has two favourites out of the 4, I've always fluttered around in the background. Anyway to cut a long story short, I'm an adult now live with dh and dc. She never initiates contact with we but seems quite happy to be contacted, she never visits or takes any interest in dc. I've never broached the subject with her but she sometimes says my house is too far for her ( I live about an hour away by public transport) her other son who she visits every week lives 2 hours away by public transport she collects his son from school one day during the week.
If asked she has babysat a few times but often makes excuses at first then comes back the next day with an answer. For this reason I never ask. (Dh does, if he wants to go out as a couple) she refers to herself as a mum and grandma to us but I don't feel lives up to the role. For the past 2 months l have limited contact as Ive started to realise it was only me who made contact or visited. She hasn't called but after 3 weeks text to say she notices I'm ignoring her, responded saying I'm not ignoring you- I haven't seen any missed called. To which she replied am I ok and say hello to dc. Since then nothing.
I know eventually I have to speak to her about my concerns but I feel really hurt that she hasn't used this opportunity to initiate some kind of contact, other than two texts.
Am I being over sensitive due to the abandonment issues I suffer from early childhood? Am I expecting too much from a woman who has no obligations to me? Should I continue NC ?where do I go from here?
I noticed she treats her grandchildren different from my dc and I don't want my dc growing up feeling how I felt.... Shunned and constantly vying for someone's affection.
Advice please
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Mother figure ignores me...
20 replies
Workinprogress2015 · 15/11/2015 14:41
OP posts:
RueDesTroisFreres ·
16/11/2015 07:45
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.