PIL have form for sending me very PA gifts and cards. DH has just begun to realise that they do this after many years. For example they send me the poorest quality birthday card (sometimes a note-let) they can find, send it 2nd class and late so it gets here 4 days after the event. I kept my DHs and DCs cards for 2 years and then showed my DH the difference in what they receive and what I get because DH thought I was making it up. I only did this to show him that they are PA towards me.
Before DC they mostly never bought me a gift for birthday or Christmas despite us being very generous with them i.e. me the wifey putting the thought into it and going out buying it. On the occasions they have bought me it has been things like a tea towel, a pair of socks or something very similar. My PIL are quite wealthy so it is not a cost issue and they always ask us to buy them expensive gifts. This year they have asked us for something that costs £150. I cannot really get out of spending this because they now spend around this much on DH and the DC so I feel obliged to pass it back and it also makes me feel that I don't owe them anything and we are even. If I ever get a gift it is given very begrudgingly. They buy it so my DH doesn't get annoyed and the box is ticked and they are off the hook.
Anyway, the above may sound strange and some of you are probably poised to type that I should be grateful I get anything and they buy the DC. Don't forget that they did this before DC came along. I am not being grabby as I really do not want anything.
The reason I am writing this is because I cannot stomach another year sitting there watching PIL opening golf gifts, beautifully wrapped scarves, nice perfume and then it's my turn to open my £1.99 gloves from Costco. It makes me feel inferior and that doesn't sit well with me. The bottom line is I do not want anything from them. I am happy to buy for them but I want nothing in return and I do not even want to feel obliged for the £2 gift. DH sit there and open really nice presents and I feel like a twat.
I need a few ideas as to how to say to my MIL that I do not want her to buy me anything in future. I would prefer to not have anything to open from them and for us to be a bit more honest with each other and know that she doesn't want to waste her money or energy on me and I want nothing from her. I need a few pointers as I really need to say this but it is going to come out wrong.
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Need help telling in-laws not to buy me PA gifts.
177 replies
holepuncher · 14/11/2015 08:29
OP posts:
Beachlovingirl ·
14/11/2015 08:50
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