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Successful marriage counselling stories?

(6 Posts)
WestYorkshireGirl Thu 12-Nov-15 23:30:49

No idea what happens during marriage counselling and am curious to hear any positive stories. DH and I think we might find it beneficial but seems a bit daunting....

AcrossthePond55 Thu 12-Nov-15 23:48:28

My marriage was saved because of a wonderful counselor. There's a lot of talking (separately and together). There's a lot of soul searching and soul baring. We both had to hear things we didn't want to hear, but we learned how to listen to them with an open mind and heart. And we learned to say the things we wanted to say in a way that made hearing them bearable. We learnt to cooperate and stop blaming. We learnt what compromise really means. We came out of it stronger and with a renewed appreciation for marriage and each other.

It's not a 'cure all'. We've had a few 'tune up sessions' when we slipped back into bad habits. But without counseling we would not be together now.

Just make sure you go into it openminded, to learn about yourself and be willing to change. Not just a way to prove to your spouse how 'wrong' he is or how much he needs to change.

If there is abuse in your marriage, the abuser needs to deal with why they abuse with separate sessions.

WestYorkshireGirl Sat 14-Nov-15 19:32:41

Thanks for sharing that - it sounds really positive for you. I'm not sure about the costs but if it's important we need to find a way. Nice to hear a positive story.

AcrossthePond55 Sat 14-Nov-15 21:25:50

Ours was paid for through DH and my respective employers. Many companies and government agencies here have what is known as 'Employee Assistance Plans'. They provide services such as counseling, drug/alcohol prevention/assistance, legal counseling at little to no cost. Ours paid for 20 sessions (8 mine, 12 his) per calendar year.

I'm in the US though, not sure about such benefits in the UK.

RiceCrispieTreats Sat 14-Nov-15 22:07:38

My relationship counsellor helped me to see that I was being abused. I got out - definitely a successful outcome.

Kr1stina Sat 14-Nov-15 22:11:11

The people I know who found it most useful were those who went on their own to talk about whether or not they should stay in their relationship .

I know a few women who went with their partners and found it very damaging , because there was abuse in their marriage .

Sorry I'm not sure that's very helpful

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