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Friend who has a habit of lying

(3 Posts)
dumdumdudum Thu 12-Nov-15 19:06:03

A friend of mine (A) told me recently that another friend (B) had had an interview for a promotion at work. I sent B a good luck text, mentioning that A had told me about it, to which B replied thank you.

Today I met B for coffee and casually asked about the interview. B said 'I don't know what you're talking about'. When I brought up the text she still said 'I don't know what you're talking about' and laughed uncomfortably. I don't think there's anyway A could have got things wrong, otherwise B would have raised it when I sent the text. B is quite private, and I understand if she didn't want me to know about the interview, or didn't want to talk about it, but this seemed to be a blatant lie (where we both knew she was lying) rather than a 'sorry i'd rather not discuss it'.

B has a history of lying, and she's told me about lies she's going to tell other people, but they are usually quite small and i just let it ride as it's not worth getting worked up about (examples of lies: I'll tell her i didn't see her, I didn't get your message until it was too late, no I'm haven't seen z recently). The lies are always in answers to questions and she seems to lie if it makes things easier for her. I wonder if the more i let it go, the more she thinks she can do it. I find it disrespectful. Can anyone give me an insight into what goes on in the head of a liar?

squidzin Thu 12-Nov-15 19:43:38

They don't sound like lies in the sense of fantasy made up stuff, more like omissions or not full disclosure.

She obviously has a default setting to deny/not say/avoid talking about things she finds uncomfortable.

People like this are devious, sneaky, generally hide things and are also very annoying!

She probably has 1-2 close friends to whom she discloses everything, and you are not one of them for whatever reason.

Keep her at arms length.

Jhm9rhs Thu 12-Nov-15 19:46:08

I think there's a possibility she has low self esteem - didn't get the job and is embarrassed, avoids social engagements due to anxiety?

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