Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

When you know it should be over...

(6 Posts)
Bloodybloodyhell Wed 11-Nov-15 09:39:54

Just that really. I know I should call time on it. It just doesn't feel right anymore.

But it will literally break his heart.

And I know, thaton paper at least, he's a great catch.

And that there aren't many decent, hardworking, honest, available men out there.

And what if I later regret it?

Do you just stick it out, in case you never meet anyone else?

StylishDuck Wed 11-Nov-15 09:47:43

IME as soon as you start to think things aren't right there's no going back from that. It'll always be in the back of your mind whether you decide to give things another go or not. It's not fair on him to carry on and you should never "settle" just because you're scared you might not get anyone "better".

Are there DC involved? If there are it's equally unfair on them as you'll start to resent your partner.

It's a hard decision to make though thanks

Joysmum Wed 11-Nov-15 14:16:29

For me it's when things aren't acceptable to continue longer term as they are but that you hold little hope of what's wrong being changed.

Jan45 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:42:19

Plenty decent, hardworking honest men about OP.

None of your reasons are valid imo.

pocketsaviour Wed 11-Nov-15 14:46:59

There's no reason to stay with someone just because they look good on paper. You're the only one in your relationship, nobody else's opinion counts. If you're planning to stick it out "in case you never meet anyone else" then think about how shitty and disrespectful that is to him. Effectively saying "You'll do for now but as soon as someone better comes along, I'll be off." I wouldn't want to be treated like that and I'm sure you wouldn't either.

BTW it won't literally break his heart unless you're intending to stab him. <returns to pedants' corner>

StrictlyMumDancing Wed 11-Nov-15 16:54:54

I'll slightly caveat this with saying I'm generally rubbish at leaving relationships when I should.

How long have you been together? If its a decent amount of time then are you sure its not a phase or masking some other problem? I have phases with DH where I feel like this, but I've realised more often than not its because DH isn't dealing with his issues and I've hit drowning mode. When everything is kept on top of, I don't feel like this at all. That may be more particular to our situation though.

If its not that long or you really really know, then don't stick it out. I've done it a few times (once very recently with a friend) and it never ends pretty. The resentment builds too much. Staying with someone because you may feel they're your only visible option is not nice to them either.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now