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I cant escape The One Who Got Away

(5 Posts)
Breatheinlove Wed 11-Nov-15 02:01:08

My 'One That Got Away' is on the outer edge of my circle of friends. I only see him very occasionally but when I do, all of the feelings come flooding back. I think he feels the same because when we are out in a group, he stares at me with doe eyes. I was his first and only girlfriend, and although we weren't together long, it was intense. We had known each other and wanted each other for years. It didn't work out because I had to move countries for my job and when I came back, the opportunity had passed.

I went on to marry dh, who I love to bits, and we had our dc. But still when I see this man, I absolutely melt inside. He has never had another girlfriend since, I think I would actually be able to move on better if he did. But he is one of those deep soulful artist types and I think I may have broken him and made him believe that I am his soulmate I may feel a tiny bit of this when we meet too

I avoid situations where he will be as much as I can but sometimes he arrives to nights out etc unexpectedly. It takes me a few days to get over seeing him again. Please tell me I'm acting like a ridiculous teenager and that I need to get over myself. Or if not, join me in mourning the ones who got away smile

TheLambShankRedemption Wed 11-Nov-15 02:59:14

Notice the things that irritated you when you were together. Think about the reasons why you both didn't bother trying to make long distance work. Remember why it was right to call it a day.

Maybe the grind of work, home and parenting has made you think about a single carefree life rather than this guy himself, and that's what you are pondering, what he represents rather than him. Think about him with a huge bogey and food stains on his shirt; reprogramme your brain to see someone you split up with not the first flushes of lust.

Or don't wink

MrsRobbStark Wed 11-Nov-15 03:02:16

Hello OP!

My 'One who got away' got engaged this week, that stung! It's a ridiculous and irrational feeling as we never actually dated! It was all a mess of bad timing and some time spent together delaying the inevitable reality that it wouldn't work out now that we had missed our chance.

He fancied me while I was with ex dp. I knew of him but didn't really know him. I got wind of his feelings just before I was due to move countries after a bad break up. We spent the next few months talking everyday and getting to know each other properly. Which was foolish really seeing as nothing could ever happen. I was back visiting family and friends the Christmas after I moved and we bumped into each other. We kissed and sympathised over our bad timing and what could have happened. That happened about 3 times over the Christmas period and that's really the sum of our 'relationship'. It sounds pathetic but it was all so intense and it's stuck with me. After that Christmas he got back with his own ex and moved to Canada. Now they're engaged.

Anyways I got married myself in July and I love DH more then anything but over the years I have thought about this guy more then I would ever care to admit.

FarticCircle Wed 11-Nov-15 03:06:09

My one that got away was also single for a long time.

Now he is married to another man. Which actually made it a bit easier... It doesn't hurt so much that the thing that was missing from our relationship was a second penis.

MrsRobbStark Wed 11-Nov-15 03:08:17

FarticCircle my ex is also now with another man. Not the guy I spoke about in my post but the ex I had the bad break up with and happens to be DS1's dad. I understand how I kind of makes things easier in some ways but I think it made it harder in others.

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