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I'm moving house tomorrow and no-one cares

(52 Posts)
Beachday Tue 10-Nov-15 22:42:32

I'm emotional and overwhelmed and not one person has thought to offer any help, physical or emotional.

My husband died, I have a young son and a dog and I can't do it by myself.

I can
I know this time in 48 hours I will be over the worst of it.
But I can't stop crying
I feel so let down

HirplesWithHaggis Tue 10-Nov-15 22:46:47

flowers I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed, moving house is horribly stressful.

Have you asked for help? Any friends with handy teenagers?

Handywoman Tue 10-Nov-15 22:47:13

My goodness. I'm so sorry. Where are friends and family?


InandOutofLove Tue 10-Nov-15 22:48:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 10-Nov-15 22:49:01

So sorry op, very stressful time for you flowers

SuckingEggs Tue 10-Nov-15 22:52:26

Sending you flowers

You'll get through this awful, stressful time. Moving is bad enough without what you've been through. People may just be leaving you to do it to give you some space at what many know to be a massively hard time. I'm sorry you feel so lonely. Hang in there flowers

FoxesSitOnBoxes Tue 10-Nov-15 22:54:23

Oh OP, that's awful.
You're right; you can absolutely do this and be proud of yourself flowers

Threefishys Tue 10-Nov-15 22:57:06

You can totally do this. My friend has 6 children eldest 13 youngest 2 and moved herself, them and all their belongings whilst her DP was working away. She didn't ask for help. She's actually amazing, I would have been feeling like you!!

SuckingEggs Tue 10-Nov-15 23:00:53

I think the OP is amazing for doing this as a widow with young child.

Threefishys Tue 10-Nov-15 23:02:48

I totally agree - she just needs to believe that too!! smile you can totally do this OP.

Beachday Tue 10-Nov-15 23:05:15

At the moment I'm struggling with the dog. He's only a puppy so not sure what I'm going to do with him.

My parents are on holiday-bad timing.

How can my friends not realise I might be emotional about this?
This was our home together, we put all our hopes and dreams into it.

SuckingEggs Tue 10-Nov-15 23:06:54

Can you ask a local dog walker to mind him for the day?

Threefishys Tue 10-Nov-15 23:07:33

OP, send a group text to your mates. Short, sweet - tell them you need help tomorrow and if anyone is free you'd really appreciate them giving you hand. List what you need, someone to watch the pup, someone to help pack, someone to help lift or whatever. Be specific. They may just all think you have it sorted x

Beachday Tue 10-Nov-15 23:08:37

I have professional removals coming so I guess I just leave them to it, but I'm not as organised as I'd like to be. And I've just run out of time

iwantgin Tue 10-Nov-15 23:08:54

Sorry op.

Would you ask friends to help? Sometimes people really don't think to offer.

Helloitsme15 Tue 10-Nov-15 23:11:18

Sorry to hear this - hope your move goes well.
When I split up with Ex, the might I moved out my mum and dad had a dinner party to go to so left me by myself to do it all. It's crap. flowersflowersflowers

Clobbered Tue 10-Nov-15 23:13:14

Can you designate a space at the new place for the puppy, where you can safely leave him once you get in there? Utility room? Shed? Bathroom maybe - less likely to need to put any boxes and so on in there, and easier to clean up any messes? You could put your son in charge of looking after him?

Will you have neighbours at your new place? Maybe one of them will turn out to be a star and give you a hand (fingers crossed).

Go easy on yourself and don't try to do everything all at once. As long as you and your son and the dog get there, get fed, and have a bed to sleep in, everything else can wait. Get the move done, order your favourite takeaway and collapse together to watch a great film. Job done!

Best of luck. It's a shitty thing to have to go through, but you'll get there. Sorry for your loss.

TurnWifiOn Tue 10-Nov-15 23:19:30

Send the group text regardless of the fact that you have a removal firm? People feel helpful when friends need help. Be short and direct. Get someone to walk your dog, bring you coffee etc

Best of luck with move

Beachday Tue 10-Nov-15 23:25:29

All my friends have even younger children that would have to tag along.

I can't leave my son and puppy together really, he's really bitey and ds can't really deal with him, ends up getting him overexcited.
He has a cage but will whine and cry if he can hear what's going on.

I wonder if my neighbour would look after him for a bit. He's not even house trained yet!

FingerOFudge Tue 10-Nov-15 23:30:38

I'm so sorry Beachday

Are the professional removers coming and boxing everything? If so, you don't need to worry too much, IME they are amazing and do everything so quickly, way quicker than I could ever do even at my most efficient. The only trouble with you not being "ready" for them is that you might have thrown away some things that you will instead have boxed and will have to unpack, but that'll be for later on. You are best being elsewhere while they get on with it, so you can take the puppy out maybe?

But apart from the practicalities, I can see that the move itself is going to be such an emotional event for you, and you could really do with some support. flowers I am so sorry xx

Pancakeflipper Tue 10-Nov-15 23:38:10

Fast forwarding 48 hrs and I hope you are plonked on your setter in your new home... with or without help you've had so much going at you that you can do this.

It's crap no-one has stepped up to help you. It's really is but stick your very determined chin up and out.

Fingers crossed help comes often from the most unexpected of places

Hope your new home is lovely to you.

FingerOFudge Tue 10-Nov-15 23:50:11

and just wanted to say... if you do end up doing this all by yourself, be bloody proud of yourself afterwards.

ENtertainmentAppreciated Tue 10-Nov-15 23:54:27

Oh you poor love.
So sorry your friends haven't realised that you need their support with the move.

Crate your puppy and if he cries at least lest you know where he is and that he's safe. You can give him loads of love as soon as the doors are securely closed. Keep your DS by you and let the removal people sort everything out.

You sound like you're getting there. You're right, it'll soon be another accomplishment.
Very best wishes for a happy new home flowers

springydaffs Tue 10-Nov-15 23:58:07

So sorry to hear this op flowers

Our culture is CRAP with bereavement. Really crap. People back off ffs - just when you need them! They don't want to 'intrude' - or something hmm

You can do this. Step at a time. Deal with the crap friends later. Great thing about bereavement is you can behave outrageously badly. It's the only great thing about bereavement so milk it, I should. Xx

celtictoast Wed 11-Nov-15 00:02:32

Could the puppy go into kennels for a day?

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