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What would you make of this after a date? Male opinions welcome too please!

(98 Posts)
whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 11:21:38

I had a date on Friday night. We met for drinks in Nottingham and then had dinner afterwards (not planned, just sort of happened).

I was introduced to this guy through a friend at my local gym. We messaged for about a week before meeting up and we had some great conversations. I was excited to meet him.

When we met, we had probably too much to drink in the end, but it was a fun night. BUT, this is why I am unsure...

1. He kissed me on my cheek but didnt try to properly kiss me (I do online dating and 9/10 they try and kiss me, so I feel this was a bad sign)
2. He messaged me about 20 mimutes after we left to say he had a 'fun night'... we then text for another hour
3. I suggested meeting next weekend (never do this usually but really like him) and said we could go to xmas markets as we had talked about them a lot during the date. He said 'ha. well they do look good.' we then talked some more and that was that.

I had no phone all day saturday, until this afternoon as I got a new one that I traded in yesteday morning (he knew this). So if I hear from him it will be this afternoon.

How should I approach this if he does contact again? I dont understand why he would talk so much but not arrange another date, respond well when i suggest another weekend, or even try and kiss me....

we're both early 30s if that makes any difference!

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 11:23:21

*not respond well when i suggest another date!

ThirtyFivePounds Sun 08-Nov-15 11:25:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty Sun 08-Nov-15 11:25:59

He was good company and got in touch afterwards to say he had a good time. He might firm up plans for another meeting in due course. I don't see a problem here.

Jinglebells99 Sun 08-Nov-15 11:27:23

I think you are over thinking it. It's early days. You've met him once. I think you're coming across as overkeen. I would get on with other things in my life, and wait and see what happens.

bendybootpumpkinpatch Sun 08-Nov-15 11:28:10

i don't see a problem? ?
He acted like a gentleman, kissed you on the cheek. Texted you afterwards? It was only Friday?

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 11:28:23

I'm not used to it taking so long... I know it was only on Friday, I think im just used to men being more assertive with me and i feel like he didnt really accept my invite to go to the xmas markets either...

i like him a lot...this never happens!

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 11:29:42

thank you for replying everyone smile

was it overkeen to suggest xmas markets do you think? maybe it was..! it was just as we had talked about it a lot on the night.

niceupthedance Sun 08-Nov-15 11:30:04

Some of the people don't plan a week in advance?

niceupthedance Sun 08-Nov-15 11:30:29

*some people

bendybootpumpkinpatch Sun 08-Nov-15 11:32:49

Maybe wait till around Wednesday then drop him a casual text, along the lines of " so about those Xmas markets? "......
If he's up for it he'll respond if he doesn't then sorry op you've got your answer and move on.

dontcallmecis Sun 08-Nov-15 11:40:09

He messaged you 20 minutes after your date to say he'd had fun.

That's as clear a sign as anything that, well, he had fun.

You're overthinking it. I agree with bendy.

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 11:46:52

dont people do that anyway to be polite?

regretsihaveafew Sun 08-Nov-15 11:56:33

He sounds fine to me, all quite normal so far. He knows you won't have a phone so hasn't texted yet so I cannot see the problem. Don't overthink this.

If he doesn't get in touch you have the answer. Then move on.

TattieHowkerz Sun 08-Nov-15 12:01:39

Christmas Markets are quite a couples thing to do I think. Maybe he was thinking of suggesting another drink/meal/cinema? Sounds as though he likes you. The kiss thing is fine, maybe he just isn't pushy.

unicorn501 Sun 08-Nov-15 12:05:11

I think you've been doing OLD for too long... I had this issue recently with the bloke I'm seeing, I was convinced he wasn't interested because he wasn't following the 'rules' of OLD that I've got used to! Basically that, if he's interested the bloke texts the woman within a couple of hours after the date to say he had a nice time and asks if she wants date no.2. Instead it was just occasional chatty messages until I outright asked him for a second date. I realised after a while he was just being normal!

EllieJayJay Sun 08-Nov-15 12:07:28

Did the Internet thing before I met DP and honestly most try to kiss you as they want to get in your knickers and no they don't text to say they had fun if they didn't smile or even if they did because most are just trying to get in your knickers I was early 30's when doing the internet thing smile

Sounds like a nice chap to me, I think we as ladies over complicate things.

He text you after 20 minutes to say he had fun (he went home and was thinking about you) you then text for another hour so he was obviously into you on some level - the kiss goodnight maybe he is just a gent smile or he knew you would be gagging for more if he did that.

Regrets is right, he knew you were phone less so didn't text So don't over think it! I personally would text him to say "hey got new phone and it was lovely to see you last night" or what ever you normally txt about

I hope it works out for you, just don't over think it because you "like" him as that's when your go mental no games just follow your heart - when I stopped following rules/over thinking I fell head over heals in love with a wonderful kind man who also fell head over heals in love with me and now we are having a baby together smile

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 12:08:29

unicorn thanks for your insight!

I have been on quite a few online dates... only on the ocassions where I have made it clear i dont fancy them have they not gone in for a i was surprised on friday!!

thinking about it, why would he ask for a second date on the same night. i also dont like pushy men...though i think perhaps that is because ive not met one i like properly yet!!

would you suggest asking him again if he contacts?

Justaboy Sun 08-Nov-15 12:10:38

From what i read of online dating and the absolute midden that is most all of the time this bloke sounds a gent.

But sometimes, and I've never done it, it sometimes all seems to fade rapidly afterwards so suppose give it till midweek and you could just send him a text in case he's lost your number or whatever means he had of contacting you.

But as another poster alluded it would be polite to let you know one way or the other and this seems rarely to happen.

Anyways hope it does work out for you, you sound a pleasant lady who deserves a good man if you'll pardon me saying so;!.

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 12:11:09

ellie thank you for your reply. do you think ive ruined things by being hasty and asking about the markets?! I NEVER usually d that at all! I just felt unsure as he hadnt tried to kiss me, so was trying to suss him out. i wish id done my usual thing now and left it open!!!

Mousqueton Sun 08-Nov-15 12:19:45

All sounds perfectly reasonable atm. Let him make the next move, maybe give him a gentle prompt if you haven't heard for a day or two. Sounds like he's playing it pretty much as I would so far.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that real life is the same as internet dating. Everyone seems to expect things to happen immediately these days, which put entirely down to the internet and this weird need to know everything RIGHT NOW!

ConsciousPilot Sun 08-Nov-15 12:28:36

The markets was a too-couply suggestion, IMO. Dragging blokes around Christmas markets is for when you're established in a boring relationship, no?

whaysyiur Sun 08-Nov-15 12:34:05

Maybe but he had talked about it lots and it became a bit of a joke! So in the context not really I don't think?!

Trills Sun 08-Nov-15 12:40:43

FWIW, most men I've been on dates with from OLD have not tried to kiss me on the first date
(including those where there was a second date and kissing later on).

You say you want to know whether he likes you, but you've only had one date. The only available options are "NO" or "maybe". There's no "YES" yet, you don't know each other well enough.

Scarydinosaurs Sun 08-Nov-15 12:42:10

I don't think his response was negative!

Don't overthink jt, try and enjoy the excitement of it.

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