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Am I a total mug :( could do with some hand holdinf

(4 Posts)
Amiatotalmug Sun 08-Nov-15 08:45:27

Firstly I'm heavily pregnant so on the one hand I keep thinking I'm paranoid but on the other I think I'm using that as an excuse to ignore some odd behaviour!

I don't have concrete evidence but I suspect my dh is up to something behind my back and I'm at the stage where I don't know whether to just ask him to leave. Lots of little things, like messaging girls (personal trainers) at the gym, I've read the messages and they aren't dodgy in the slightest but why do it? He also messages the male personal trainers so that makes me think I'm acting a little crazy being miffed at this. Anyway I told him I didn't like it (not nice being the size of a whale and your partner chatting away to these girls - although maybe that's my insecurities). He's apparently stopped but could easily be deleting the messages.

I should also point out that he was doing private (well the 3 of them) classes with these girls at the gym which I hit the roof over, they weren't pt sessions and one of the girls isn't even a trainer.

He keeps his phone out and I openly know the password but often when he gets a message (private or sms) he won't read it straight away in front of me. Now I sometimes do this to if I can't be bothered responding to someone so I guess that could be innocent.

This might sound silly but there have been a few times I've got in the car recently and my seat has been moved way back (I'm tiny so have it really far forward), I asked him y one time and he said he had dropped change so moved my seat to find it. Fair enough but it's happened again 2 days ago, I should have asked him why but part of me doesn't want to hear the crappy excuse.

Anyway this morning i snooped in his wallet and found a dinner receipt for a couple of weeks ago, he was allegedly at a team evening an hours drive away but this receipt was for a local restaurant at a time he was meant to be elsewhere. I've also found his parking stump which states the time he left the meeting. I'm raging at that night I was left looking after our son (who is a shit sleeper) all on my own, he didn't get in touch betwenw 5&7pm and got in around 830 and clearly lied to my face. I've read through my texts from that day and he's clearly lied about his whereabouts.

I'm honestly not sure what is worse, going to dinner with f knows who (thinking a woman) or even if he was out with a friend - how dare he not tell me and think he deserves time off. If he was with a mate I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

Anyway I'm a mug ain't I? What do I do? I confronted him before with less proof and he'll never admit it. I feel I deserve better but at same time I'm heavily preg and have a toddler, what the hell do I do?

Amiatotalmug Sun 08-Nov-15 08:48:40

I should also say he goes to the gym 4-5 times a week during his lunch hour (which is fine as it doesn't infringe on family time) but I'm sick of the preening, posing and general gym persona that he's developed. We used to do the gym together but that's not been possible for a long time and it doesn't help I feel so shit in myself

HubertsBirthdayStick Sun 08-Nov-15 13:20:25

I would just talk to him about it.

UnGoogleable Sun 08-Nov-15 21:58:35

I think you need to just ask him outright what's going on.

Hope you're ok.

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