Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Putting my mother before myself Reservations

(4 Posts)
BryonyBirdy123 Sat 07-Nov-15 16:25:42

I live with my mother and am 31 sometimes it is difficult.I was pregnant and in a hospital critical decisions unit being kept in for investigations for a possible blood clot causing painful symptoms.My mother was with me.3 weeks ago I begged her to go drs as her mental health medication was no longer working efficiently and she was getting new anxiety problems.She refused and kept delaying it.So we find ourselves in hospital with me being investigated.After the first night in by 12 noon my mother is restless and pacing.Already she cant get herself a sandwich from the hospital shop as she is "scared of the big door"and getting back in.I expain she knows my d.o.b and address and name and they will let her back in as a visitor.She refuses to leave to get food or to go home to feed and water her 7 pets.This is due to not being prepared to leave me for 2 hours and then come back.The 2nd day in hospital and due to my mothers behaviour I have to discharge myself due to my mothers inability to leave me to go home and look after her pets for 2 hrs.I now have to have bed-rest for a week and wait a week or so to see a specialist while waiting to find out if I have a clot in my lungs or not.Meanwhile my mother continues to be reluctant to confront the fact her medication isn't working correctly and to get help for it.I explain to her that being pregnant and partially disabled the threat of her mental health episodes is even more stressful than it would be normally.I want her to get it under control but I feel she is being reluctant to get help. Also knowing she is not yet sick enough to be sectioned it means any change HAS to come from her part.I am growing resentful and frustrated that my middle aged parent is left a fearful child by mental illness a demanding needy paranoid child sad should I just feel sorry or more selfish at this crucial time~(3months till baby comes)???

madwomanbackintheattic Sat 07-Nov-15 16:31:59

I would have discussed it with the medical staff while I was in hospital. And I would discuss it with the gp now at home. I have been to the gp on another adult's behalf before. They obviously will tell you nothing specific, but they can listen, note what they need to look for on the next appt with said adult, and give what I call 'mild' and generic advice as how you might proceed.

pocketsaviour Sat 07-Nov-15 16:34:14

Take her with you to see her GP and discuss the level of support she needs.

What is the circumstances to you living with her? Have you stayed to care for her? Do you have a partner on the scene? Does she?

BryonyBirdy123 Sat 07-Nov-15 16:45:10

Untill she is considered a serious danger to herself or others I can't force her.I have tried at the drs to get her to do that I have no legal right until she is dangerous.There isn't local provision for extra help.I have an ex bf who wants to get back with me ironically his mental problems split us up.He is in a better place at the moment than my mother.I have looked after her unpaid for 10 yrs helping her to make basic decisions (a struggle with her illness) and keep her working socialising and leading a normal life and taking meds.He isn't allowed in the house and lives up north.So no hep there and my other friends 1 ended the friendship down to her the other doesn't like to be in the same room with her for long.Her sister is strange and we are barely on talking terms.All our other relatives/friends are miles away or dead.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now