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Why some people jump into marriage/relationship very quickly?

(11 Posts)
Inexperiencedchick Sat 07-Nov-15 13:26:21

Why is it like that?

Is it wrong just to date, get to know a person and then decide to go serious?

neotix Sat 07-Nov-15 23:46:55

I think some people just get overexcited in the lust stage of the relationship and don't think about the practical aspects. I also think for some women, they are insecure and feel the need to rush into commitment for fear of the guy changing their mind, especially if their biological clock is ticking and/or they want a partner to get on the housing ladder or move out of shared housing into a rented place as a couple.

StrumpersPlunkett Sat 07-Nov-15 23:52:26

For us we were friends for a while and once we started dating it was 6 weeks before I moved in we waited a bit to get married but not long in the grand scheme of things.
We knew it felt right, we talked practical things really early, kids, schooling, who should be primary carer and stay home for a bit, all that stuff was done before we moved in together.
We were fortunate that it wasn't a financial decision. Although obviously paying one mortgage not two was a bonus.
That was in 2000 and through various life events we are still very much together and loving the rose tinted view of growing old and wrinkly together.
No point in just dating if you know you have the one.

HappyHopefulStrongerAlone Sun 08-Nov-15 00:09:13

Bit of a sexist post neotix. I think you may find that men can rush relationships due to being insecure/wanting children...

StarkyTheDirewolf Sun 08-Nov-15 00:14:11

I suppose it depends on what you class as quick.

Stoneagemum Sun 08-Nov-15 00:31:15

Idiocy on not realising the legal commitment but relishing in the 'romantic' view of marriage. We ill prepare people for the reality of the legalities of marriage in this day and age

Aussiebean Sun 08-Nov-15 04:23:24

We are in our mid 30s and there has been a number of people getting married really quickly in the past year.

Unfortunately it is true that women don't have as long to wait if they want children but on the flip side, both parties are older and wiser, they know what they want and are better able to judge people.

DeepBlueLake Sun 08-Nov-15 04:32:20

I think getting married very quickly on a whim in your late teens or early 20s is a very silly idea unless you grew up with each other as a lot of the marriages end in divorce fairly quickly (though there is good outcomes as well). I wouldn't recommend that to anyone as your not long left home and sometimes it's your first serious relationship and have no idea of the practicalities that married life brings.

But getting married after only a few months in your late 20s or older is a different ball game as at least you have some life experience behind you and know it's not all going to be all hearts and roses.

StrawberryTeaLeaf Sun 08-Nov-15 05:04:38

I've never understood the concept of extended dating TBH. Especially not for the over 25s. Once you know yourself it shouldn't take eons to know whether there is potential with someone.

Similarly (as pps have said) after 35 there isn't much point in drawing out the 'relationship but separate houses' thing forever (unless the intent is literally to live alone forever). You have some sense of people, life etc by then (and less time to waste).

lavendersun Sun 08-Nov-15 06:19:59

I we decided to get married after 6 weeks and DH was away for three of them. In our thirties, no baggage, both very happy with ourselves/own lives, both sporty, similar education levels, similar interests, both had great jobs.

I thought I had won the lottery to be honest. I hadn't even met anyone I wanted to have dinner with for a year. Neither of us was needy or desperate but really happy with our individual lives.

13 years on our marriage is strong, we are really happy.

I really don't think you can generalise.

thecolourpink Sun 08-Nov-15 10:28:57

I married my husband 5 months after meeting him at 23. 8 years on we are still together and happier than ever. I think it's all down to personal circumstances, what works for one person won't necessarily work for another.

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