Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I have never really been on a 'date', am I unusual in this?

(7 Posts)
bigmouthstrikesagain Fri 06-Nov-15 19:28:09

Have been watching 'First Dates' and realised that in my very limited experience of having relationships, I have not ever been on a blind date, all my relationships were casual shags flings or friend with benefits type things. I was never really "courted" by anyone til dh so I obviously married him out of gratitude winkgrin

Even with dh our first time going out was because we vaguely knew each other from uni and bumped into each other at the same workplace, so I was showing him north London my bra not eyes meeting across a crowded room romantic thing. Before dh there were several blokes I had what I would term as relationships with but not in a very conventional sense, more lovers than boyfriends which suited me generally but was confusing and vague sometimes. So if dh ever dumps me I will be useless if I had to "date" in the usual sense, they seem like job interviews and I prefer to get work through contacts than try impress strangers... is going on a date worth all the angst? Surely you are better off getting to know people in your natural habitat not in a restaurant on your best behaviour? It all looks terrifying!

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Fri 06-Nov-15 19:30:05

Me either. I've only had two boyfriends -sixth form and DH (who was a friend first ). Never been on a formal 'date'.

TinklyLittleLaugh Fri 06-Nov-15 19:47:24

No I'm fifty and I've not had many dates either. Most of my relationships started with a snog with someone I vaguely knew, down the pub or at a party. Then sort of hanging out, progressing to shagging and basically just realising we were a couple. Whenever I've been asked out by a randomer in the street, or on a train, I've rung a mile.

My daughters (17 and 20), date though, and yes, they do consider it like interviewing or auditioning someone to be their boyfriend. They get quite arsey if they are at the dating stage and I refer to a lad as their boyfriend. Apparently you have a conversation to decide if you are Boyfriend and Girlfriend hmm Glad I'm not a teen now.

HarrietSchulenberg Fri 06-Nov-15 19:48:55

Me neither. Dates are not for me: too forced. I've always been a bit more, um, casual about meeting people.

bigmouthstrikesagain Fri 06-Nov-15 19:58:18

I blame American cultural imperialism grin

birdsdestiny Fri 06-Nov-15 21:30:16

I knew DH for a year before our ‘date‘ , we used to go out every week in a large group of friends. One night he finally plucked up courage to ask me out. He suggested we went out for a drink, I had no idea what he was on about, and said well yes will see you next week as usual. When I finally realised what he meant, I still brought my 50year old gay friend with me. That was kind of the pattern for out our dates for then on.

bigmouthstrikesagain Fri 06-Nov-15 21:51:06

I can relate to that birds. There was a lot of hanging out in groups and not much holding hands going to the pictures or the dance. Good times. You do get so insular once properly coupled and kidded up. So I am glad I did have so much time in my teens and twenties with friends and not being a serial dater.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now