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Would you be suspicious re new man

(15 Posts)
Sazzle41 Fri 06-Nov-15 04:23:28

....if he only has time to see you once every 10 days or so & in the week. I have met someone who said he is divorced and wants a soulmate not a fling (makes a change, i usually get the fling types and thats just not me).

I am noticing all his texts are sexual/innuendo and we never have a Friday or weekend date as he says 'i have my kids all weekend'. I did ask why he never texted in the evenings as I dont like bothering people at work and I dont expect him to text if he has 3 kids to entertain either at w/end: and now he has started sending texts after 6pm, but again, all sexual (we havent DTD yet). I'm thinking this is all red flag stuff? What would you think?? I cant bear another situation where I am wanting love but it turns out he just wants a friends with benefits. Or, is he married? Been hurt too much before.

thequickbrownfox Fri 06-Nov-15 04:31:42

In all honesty this would be pricking my bat senses too!

Hissy Fri 06-Nov-15 07:06:33

What do you mean about the texts all being sexual, flirty? It more?

I'd be bloody suspicious too. Do you talk on the phone in the evenings?

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Fri 06-Nov-15 07:11:05

He's contradicting himself rather, isn't he?

He wants a soulmate and not a fling, but all his texts are sexual/innuendo.

When I inly had time to see someone once every ten days or so, I did not want a relationship.

And a 'soulmate' isn't something you have on a ticklist. It's something that (if they actually exist, which they don't) you chance upon once in a lifetime. That is the nature of a soulmate.

Tbh, I'd end it. I have no time at all nowadays for giving a chamce to men who are, quite frankly, taking the piss.

Fairylea Fri 06-Nov-15 07:15:34

The only sexual texts would be a deal breaker for me. Yuck.

Sazzle41 Fri 06-Nov-15 11:22:29

I think you are all right, we have little in common now i think about it, I dont feel comfortable that he is all sex, sex, sex and hardly any dates. He has texted and called now in the evenings but I am still suspicious and tired of men like this. I always get these types, i dont know what i have done to deserve a string of total ar*ses. And after a string of OLD disasters - see my post on that thread re the addict/escort using/cartoon costume guy and his erm preferences plus the others 'dates' - i am giving up.

DoorToTheRiver Fri 06-Nov-15 11:38:52

Seems iffy to me. If his texts are all sexual then you can safely assume it's where his interest is. Stay in touch by all means but I wouldn't take it any further while you have these justified doubts.

Smallwoodenstool Fri 06-Nov-15 11:42:38

The very first sexual text at the start of dating would have garnered a goodbye from me straight away. Shore up your boundaries, the first sign of anything you dont like then call it a day.

mum2mum99 Fri 06-Nov-15 12:41:31

Several options: He is not into you
2. he consider women as a piece of meat
3. he is a sex addict

Not good prospects! run!

ShebaShimmyShake Fri 06-Nov-15 13:11:54

He's clearly not available and not after what he says he is. Knock it on the head before it hurts you.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Fri 06-Nov-15 13:21:20

Imho, the third party providing background information can be a bit of a red flag. Why would someone decent need an advocate? It may also indicate that he will involve others in your relationship in a kiss and tell kind of way.

So friendzone...
but the sex references would just be out of bounds then. The vulgarity assumes an awful lot.

Not a good prospect, Sazzle, sorry.

Hissy Fri 06-Nov-15 16:33:27

Why are you giving up OP? with this rich vein of mumsnet entertainment

Your problem is that your weeding and pruning skills need sharpening up, only time and a shed load of mumsnet posts patience will get you there.

Separated? Make sure his wife knows they are separated.

Can't spend evenings or weekends with you? Why not? Investigate and check out if poss. If not poss, tell them that they are clearly too busy for a proper relationship and that you'll pass for now.

Overt sexual texts, hefty innuendo or <shudder> dick pix, just delete and block. No reply or response necessary.

Silent treatment? See above

What did I miss?

goddessofsmallthings Fri 06-Nov-15 16:42:32


Is there a particular reason why you've posted 2 threads with the same title and subject matter, Sazzle?

ChiefInspectorBarnaby Fri 06-Nov-15 17:15:29

What is it that you like about him?

Sazzle41 Fri 06-Nov-15 18:21:40

Sorry Goddess they changed/upped my anti d's and i am bit fuzzy and this laptop is knackered , crashes constantly so i didnt know if first go had 'taken'. He is kicked to kerb. At least i can laugh about the OLD disasters.. lifes rich tapestry is all there , in abundance!! Thanks to all and sorry for being fuzzy and doing two threads in error...

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