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Help for my lovely sister...

(3 Posts)
MaggieMcVitie Wed 04-Nov-15 20:04:17

I'm posting this on behalf of my sister whose world fell apart - well actually was destroyed by her STBX - about 6 weeks ago.

She came across some WhatsApp messages on his phone which revealed a string of sordid affairs over the last few years. These messages included photos of her of a pornographic nature which had been taken and sent without her knowledge or permission. In the messages he asks if the OW would show them to her husband. My sister has filed for divorce. He also had an affair early on in their marriage and left her, but came back after a few days and begged for another chance. She was very vulnerable at the time (had just had an ectopic pregnancy and fallopian tube removed) and took him back.

He has moved out, has now found a flat and agreed to have the children (two DS's aged 8 and 12) every other weekend. He also agreed to pay £1000 into the current account each month. Incidentally, whilst sorting out the finances, my sister discovered that he had drained their savings account without her knowledge.

He is now refusing to pay the money he has agreed into the account. Initially he said he couldn't afford anything but has now paid £500. He says he can only manage this as a maximum amount each month. Her solicitor has been informed and he has now said he will instruct his own solicitor as she has 'turned nasty'.

In the long term I presume this will all be sorted out legally based on his income etc. However in the short term she cannot afford to even cover her outgoings (mortgage/bill/childcare) on her own. Can anyone advise please??

Chocoholicmonster Sat 07-Nov-15 10:48:45

Surprised this has been left for so long without any replies - So I'm hoping to bump this for you for someone with knowledge or who's been in a similar situation to see, if your sister still needs the support & advice.

The only thing I can think of is to go to the CAB regards to finances etc - they should be able to help her put a plan together for the time being until things settle down.

And I'd absolutely definitely report the pornographic photographs to the police.

She's very lucky to have such a supporting sister such as yourself flowers

PurpleWithRed Sat 07-Nov-15 11:02:02

Similarly bumping for you and hope her solicitor has good advice. Obviously she needs to gather together maximum paperwork for finances (bank statements etc) and I think she can close joint accounts just on her sayso. Credit cards in the short term? Can I suggest you repost with a different title (Sister needs financial advice for divorce) or some such thing and put it in Divorce/Separation?

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