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OLD I've seen it all now!

(57 Posts)
blushingbelinda Tue 03-Nov-15 17:23:45

Surfing the profiles I've found two tonight that really push the boat out. The first was a late 40s something Mr Bean type, half bald, wearing his Addidas trackies in various sex-kitten poses over his settee & bed!! The other beauty was a chap who told it like it is & said in his blurb that he's a mans man & likes to moan & fart!!! I mean wtaf? Yeah, that really does it for me. Vom. You seen any howlers?

DreamingOfThruxtons Tue 03-Nov-15 17:25:39

Links?

Esmeismyhero Tue 03-Nov-15 19:20:29

I went on an old and it was awful. We met for dinner and the cinema, by the end of dinner he was confessing his love for me.

I faked illness and gave the cinema a miss. He then started calling, texting, voicemails saying he loved me, what's wrong, etc etc.

It was scary.

ALaughAMinute Tue 03-Nov-15 19:24:24

Sounds like you're spoilt for choice! grin

Missyaggravation Tue 03-Nov-15 19:32:59

I did once see a profile that just said "football", that was literally the only word on there grin. Also profile name cynical user, who was quite blatantly a vile misogynist, the mind boggles.

Missyaggravation Tue 03-Nov-15 19:36:28

Also went on a first date who told me he wanted me to piss on him in the bath, and that his first relationship "turned violent" when she got pregnant, (whole body shudder) wtaf, I was very naive and bad at filtering out arseholes apparently hmm

Trills Tue 03-Nov-15 19:40:27

You have not seen it ALLLLLLL

And you don't want to...

blushingbelinda Tue 03-Nov-15 20:54:53

Had another tonight, who said I clearly 'smell' because I don't want to chat to him! I'm so grateful he saved me the bother by showing me what a dick he is.

showsomeclass Tue 03-Nov-15 21:06:37

I saw one that basically put women down to a large degree! He didn't like any fat, they had to be clean, they had to put out etc etc.. I couldn't help but message them asking why they would put things like that on their profile! he replied and said "to deter women like you"... hahahaha

HellonHeels Tue 03-Nov-15 21:10:30

Sex kitten tracky bottom man could be a bit of a laugh?

ShebaShimmyShake Tue 03-Nov-15 21:18:42

It sounds as if someone's mates might have put him up for a joke...

ShebaShimmyShake Tue 03-Nov-15 21:19:46

Oh, and don't respond to or message the ones who insult you or put women down in general. It's negging. Don't rise. Just ignore. Remember what Churchill said about arguing with a pig...

TooSassy Tue 03-Nov-15 21:34:16

Lol @ piss on him in bath. OMG

Seriously. I'm never OLD!

HustleRussell Tue 03-Nov-15 22:08:46

Sheba-insulting or putting women down is not negging. It is just being. ..insulting!

Negging is somewhat different.

ShebaShimmyShake Tue 03-Nov-15 22:12:57

It is indeed just being insulting and rude and twattish, but in the context of online dating, where they're directly addressing women in a romantic/sexual environment, it's a clear ploy to try to provoke a reaction. Nobody should take the bait. Just ignore.

isseywithcats Tue 03-Nov-15 22:17:41

the best one i saw was a guy posing in his kitchen, not so much him but if you looked at the background this guy should have been on obsessive compulsive cleaners, im still sure he was only looking for someone to clean up his shithole, there wasnt a single surface that wasnt covered in rubbish and clutter

Denton2406 Tue 03-Nov-15 22:43:56

One asked me if I like random adventures, like a campfire under the stars, but not a forest date and said he wasn't a serial killer!! Wtf! Needless to say I didn't reply lol.

iklboo Tue 03-Nov-15 23:06:53

I would rather lock myself in a room with two cats & a family sized tub of Philadelphia than risk OLD after some of these stories!! shock

Nepotism Wed 04-Nov-15 05:52:17

I've seen a profile pic tonight of a half naked 50 year old draped in Christmas decorations. He claims he's a psychiatrist.

BrendaandEddie Wed 04-Nov-15 06:44:33

I think the camp fire one sounds funny

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops Wed 04-Nov-15 07:25:16

I saw one once and and he had taken a photo of himself naked on the bed and the flash had sort of bounced off the soles of his feet so it looked like he had luminous feet - it was most bizarre. He was almost totally hairless too so he looked like he had been beamed down from the mothership. God help us all!

Oysterbabe Wed 04-Nov-15 07:37:23

So which one are you going to pick?

Cleansheetsandbedding Wed 04-Nov-15 07:44:15

I went on an old site an met a bloke that seemed fine. When he turned up for a date (dinner) he said he had actually just eaten a curry and looked pissed off when I ordered food. When I left the date he added me on facebook and when I looked at his profile he had pictures of himself in some kind of sex dungeon with him peeking out from behind walls all lit from a red light. He had a spiky dog collar on.

That fucker got blocked in a nano second!

Elliementalmydearwatson Wed 04-Nov-15 13:38:28

I had about 5 dates with a man and on the 6th date he said he had something to show me at his place. I had already been for a meal at his place and he had behaved like a perfect gentleman so I wasn't unduly concerned.

When we arrived at his place he did seem to have rather a lot of equipment out i.e. there were a lot of cables running into the telly everything seemed to be linked to a laptop.

It was that my Mr Normal and Nice chose to tell me that he was rather into streaming "live shows" to a site called Adult Friend Finder and was I ready for my close up!!! shock

Actually shocked doesn't even cover it! Up to that point he had been Mr Normal to the point of being boring! That's my cautionary tale about OLD!!

Oh needless to say I left rather sharpish never to return!

Katie2001 Wed 04-Nov-15 13:50:52

Had a recent one where his opening line was 'whereabouts in <town> do you live exactly'? When I replied that I'd rather not say immediately, he went on a rambling explanation of various locations, such as a curry house or the cinema and asked if I lived near any of those. It's a really small town so if exact location was an issue I think this was weird. Ready to be corrected though.

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