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How to break into conversations with talkative types

(14 Posts)
Annnabellla Mon 02-Nov-15 17:56:31

I'm a reasonably confident person in my 40s. People view me as quiet but I'm quite capable of putting my point across and have no need to keep talking and talking.

However when I am amongst people who talk a lot more than me I find myself becoming very quiet as I can't get a word in. Does anyone have any tips for breaking into conversations with talkative types?

HotNatured Mon 02-Nov-15 18:10:48

The kind of person that you can't get a word in ? Why would you want to talk to such a self absorbed person in the first place ? confused

I'm a v confident, chatty type, but have no time for people who aren't capable of a two way convo, people who are all me, me, me are just boring and hard work. Sorry, not helpful at all but really, what's the point !

FredaMayor Mon 02-Nov-15 18:21:37

Annnabellla - simply speak up, you'll get used to it. grin

marzipanmaggie Mon 02-Nov-15 21:06:00

In my experience the kind of person who won't let others get a word in edgeways isn't usually self aware enough to notice whether other people are talking or not, let alone whether they are interested....(I've spent a lot of time around people like this).

People like that generally prefer the company of people who act as a ready made audience. I'd avoid them like the plague, personally... but if you really want to hang around with people like this they'll probably appreciate your silence as it minimises competition.

Chattycatty Mon 02-Nov-15 21:12:09

I have a friend who constantly said "sorry to cut across you"and then took over then conversation I'm a lot quieter than her but eventually said stop doing it then... She stopped lol

RiceCrispieTreats Mon 02-Nov-15 21:17:51

Just jump in!

Very often people who hold the floor are doing it to fill the void. Since no-one is going to invite you to present an opinion that they don't yet know you hold, just jump in and do it. You'll be doing them all a favour by bringing something to the conversation.

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe Mon 02-Nov-15 21:19:49

Excellent answer from Marzipan and I totally agree!

Shakey15000 Mon 02-Nov-15 21:20:29

Aside from an exaggerated yawn, you could try saying remarks like-

Yes, see what you mean. Do you know what I think? .........

I disagree with that and I'll tell you for why......

I find phrases like that, have an air of expectancy, that there's definitely more to follow and subsconsciously, people pause because you're going to TELL them what you think or your reason for why. Does that make sense?

Or wander off disinterested. smile

VoyageOfDad Mon 02-Nov-15 21:36:46

I think you can use body language. Not obviously launching up and waving your arms around grin , but a visual cue, putting a hand out etc

But I think the main thing is to keep talking once you've started, make eye contact, engage the person next to you...

TopOfTheCliff Mon 02-Nov-15 21:52:21

All my friends talk too much as does DP and me too. If I want to get a word in I have learned just to interrupt and talk them down, or kick DP on the shin and put a finger on my lip to shut him up. We both talk too much to cover unease and fill silences, but can listen as well when appropriate.

anastasiakrupnik Mon 02-Nov-15 21:53:14

I have a similar problem. I'm fine 1-on-1, but if there are two or more people I very quickly get cut-out, or do it myself by getting so absorbed in listening that I realise I've not spoken in forever. Then I can't figure out how to get back into the conversation. Sounds pathetic but it's a real problem!

magiccatlitter Tue 03-Nov-15 03:13:33

I would like to learn to talk more too in groups.
I've been very very self-conscious since my hearing started failing me that I am somewhat quiet now partly due to the stress of figuring out what people are saying and then making sure I heard them correctly.

Some people haven't been very nice about it at all. Had one teacher tell me my quietness is off-putting and then having some people think I was up myself for being quiet. sad

Annnabellla Tue 03-Nov-15 08:45:42

Thank you all for your very helpful comments.

magic I have a freind who has a significant hearing loss. She makes sure everyone knows about her hearing loss. When she meets someone she says something along the lines of: i don't hear too well so it will make things loads easier if you look at me when you speak and also let me finish what I'm saying. And she adds a big smile.

People are fine about this and have commented afterwards how glad they were she said it as they might have got the wrong idea about her otherwise (as she sometimes seems to ignore people, but actually she hasn't heard them - like perhaps when people have assumed you're up yourself).

It takes away all the awkwardness and enables her to play a full role in any social situation. Sometimes when we've been out socialing I've heard friends briefing new people about her needs re her hearing issues. They know she would be fine about this as she has chosen to be open about her hearing loss.

It works for her and apparently she used to be really shy and awkward and embarrassed to speak in case she made a fool of herself. Those days are gone for her.

Worth a try maybe?

So sorry your teacher was a tosser.

springydaffs Tue 03-Nov-15 12:06:14

Not all big talkers are self-absorbed!

Speed up, op. Practise speeding up, being quicker of the mark.

An 'Oi! Listen! I was talking/want to say something' . all friendly like smile - can change the pace.

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