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Told him I was pregnant/misscarried and he just gave me the silent treatment!

(17 Posts)
Annnnnon487 Sun 01-Nov-15 20:02:25

Will keep this short

Early days of relationship, first time we had sex had a mishap and I got the morning after pill! Realised it didn't work when I miscarried (around 7 weeks) tried to see him all week to speak to him and tell him, he wasn't avsilable! Yesterday through texts I asked when he was free as we needed to talk, he kept pushing and pushing about what and then twice asked outright if I was pregnant!! In the end I said I was but to anymore he was like SHIT, you ok?

I responded not really, I tried to speak to you in week about this and I really didn't want to do over text!

He never responded!!!! This was yesterday morning and I have been in bits since, I can't understand what this means, things have been going well and he tells me all the time how much he likes me and makes future plans and talk about the future with me in it!

What is his silents about and what do I go from here?

Supermanspants Sun 01-Nov-15 20:09:27

How long have you been dating?
Yes. . .blokes have been known to talk excitedly about 'the future' then bin someone the next day.
He may possibly be thinking about you in that way but I'm guessing that did not include a baby hence his response.
Remember. . . You hardly know him.

goddessofsmallthings Sun 01-Nov-15 20:10:00

Early days? How many days elapsed from meeting him to having sex with him and becoming pg on that occasion? How many times did you see him after the 'mishap' that caused you to take the mpa and did you do a pregnancy test afterwards to make sure it had worked?

I reckon he's run for the hills and it's highly unlikely you'll hear from him again.

Supermanspants Sun 01-Nov-15 20:12:54

Should also add that he is probably hoping you will go away quietly which may explain his silence. I think the writing is on the wall so chin up and look after yourself. You won't be getting any support from him. Do you have support in RL?

Annnnnon487 Sun 01-Nov-15 20:16:39

Known him for 2 years, dated for month before we slept together, seeing him for about 5 months since.

Guessing trying to figure out have I totally scared him off? But surely if he really liked me this shouldn't chsnge things should it?

I will see him again, at work this week fit a start sad

goddessofsmallthings Sun 01-Nov-15 20:21:47

Are you saying the miscarriage was more than 3 months ago? confused

Annnnnon487 Sun 01-Nov-15 20:22:13

Could this just be his way with dealing with the shock

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 01-Nov-15 20:22:56

How long have you been together?
I reckon he's probably freaked out that you got pregnant and feels this is nowhere near the stage he wants to be at and is pushing you away.
I don't think you can expect him to have strong feelings about a pregnancy he didn't want and didn't know about until after it was gone to be fair.

Supermanspants Sun 01-Nov-15 20:24:33

Call me a bitter old cynic but what men say and what they do can be two totally different things. He may well have said these things and probably believed them but the heady early days of lust a r'ship can sometimes distort reality. The new reality became an unplanned pregnancy and a m'carriage. He clearly didn't think as much of you as he led you to believe. Either that of he just couldn't handle it all.

Annnnnon487 Sun 01-Nov-15 20:25:40

Sorry type error 2, we have only been a couple for about 3 months, but we have known each other for years before

Finola1step Sun 01-Nov-15 20:25:51

I'm a bit confused over the timeline.

How long ago did you tell him? Was there a big gap between the miscarriage and telling him?

queenofthepirates Sun 01-Nov-15 20:27:02

Oh sweetie, that is awful, you don't deserve any of this. Whatever he's feeling or not doing, you need to be kind to yourself and be gentle. Yes he's probably gone but not because of anything you've done, it's because he's scared and a bit of a twunk. Real men stick around and hold your hand.

Annnnnon487 Sun 01-Nov-15 20:28:44

I kind of wish I didn't tell him but thought it's best to be honest in a relationship!

Pregnsncy would be totally the last thing either of us would want/need right now, but I'm not pregnant and really disappointed and hurt that he just blanked me, I just thought he should know that was all

StopTittingAbout Sun 01-Nov-15 20:31:04

So you tried to contact him all week, to tell him this happened a couple of months ago?

If he has been so hard to get hold of, it isn't going well, regardless of his feelings about the miscarriage. I'm really sorry this happened to you. He doesn't sound very supportive but he may have been half way out the door when he heard about it - it sounds like it's made little difference to how available he is making himself to you.

Utterlyclueless Sun 01-Nov-15 20:36:40

I was engaged after 7 years together and he was gutted I was told I'll never have kids, then I find out I'm pregnant (miracle) he actually flees the country.

Some men are horrendous. Although I hope my now 7 week old son won't be!

If he has behaved like that he's not worth your time or thoughts although I know it's easier said than done!


Supermanspants Sun 01-Nov-15 20:42:07

Fucking hell utterly that is shit.
I was binned when I refused to abort a multiple pregnancy. He was lovely up to that point.

LIZS Sun 01-Nov-15 20:47:26

He's shown his true colours, run a mile.

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