Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

When did you know you'd met the right one?

(32 Posts)
chancetonights Sat 31-Oct-15 21:40:58

I've been on LOTS of dates this year. I've been open-minded and given people a chance who I usually wouldn't.

But took me until September to meet someone that has shaken up my world (in a good way) - he's funny, attractive and gives me butterflies like I've never felt before. He's attentive, and even when he went on a 'lads holiday,' I heard from him every day - he initiated the contact every time.

I've not felt like this ever before. I've been in 3 serious relationships in the past, and after the most recent one ended, about a year ago, I decided I wanted to make sure I didn't fall into a relationship - I wanted to be sure about the person.

Obviously, it's only just November, so even though I feel like I know him very well, I can't know it all. My feelings really have run away with me though...It's unexpected. I even feel like this could really be something, even though it's so early on.

What are your experiences of finding the one that became your husband/someone for the long haul?

spudlike1 Sat 31-Oct-15 21:46:54

When it's easy , when you left with no doubts that he likes you , when your feelings are mutual .Relax and enjoy I'd say you're onto something good here.
Good luck

maggiethemagpie Sat 31-Oct-15 21:50:14

When nothing is wrong.

Seeyounearertime Sat 31-Oct-15 21:52:20

When I realised that I could sit 2 feet from her for hours without saying a word and its fine.
When i realised that all the things I think are unimportant, she finds unimportant too.
When I held her for the first time and the world seemed to stop for just a split second that lasted for hours.
grin

SwedishEdith Sat 31-Oct-15 21:55:31

Did you not feel like this in your 3 previous relationships? At least, at the beginning?

chancetonights Sat 31-Oct-15 21:57:43

Love these stories smile

swedish not in the same way, as I sort of ended up with people that liked me a lot and persued me a lot, and I sort of liked them back...then the feelings grew.

With this person, I dated a long time until I found him, so I feel I have been more in control of who I want. This man is my ideal in so many ways, and the feeling is very different to the past.

StarkyTheDirewolf Sun 01-Nov-15 00:28:21

I met him and knew that if it wasn't him, then there was no-one else for me. corny, I know I told my best friend the same night that I "was going to marry that man". It was a year before we got together, and we were engaged after 8 months, got married this year.

I can't pinpoint what it was, I just knew not helpful, sorry but it was just easy, everything flowed, he's my best friend and I can tell him anything with no fear of judgement. I wasn't afraid to be completely myself then and he knows me inside out now, and I think I can say the same about him.

ElleAndAitch Sun 01-Nov-15 00:40:17

When I realised he wasn't going to put up with any of my shit smile

CuppaSarah Sun 01-Nov-15 07:34:21

When I first looked at him and thought to myself 'yup that's the man I'm going to marry'

Our relationship was easy, effortless and we were able to discuss problems without arguments. I felt I could be me without judgement and he was able to be himself and I was able to accept him. It just works. As time went it on its just gotten better and better.

Ledkr Sun 01-Nov-15 07:55:29

When I fejt so sick that I actually considered ending it and so did he!
When we tried to follow the dsting rules and not see each other every day but then felt miserable and talked on the phone all night.
When we were both on nights out with friends thinking we'd rather be doing stuff together.

Sorry if that's all a bit vommy but we aren't all lovey dovey, we just get on and can still talk and laugh for hours ten years later.

chancetonights Sun 01-Nov-15 09:48:29

ledkr when you said felt sick, do you mean as in nervous? if so, thats just like how i feel. i sometimes get so nervous about even messaging him that i dont reply for ages as i dont want to mess it up!

but it's a nice 'sick feeling,' haha.

feel like im in this one pretty deep...

sparklesnpearls Sun 01-Nov-15 09:55:34

Wish I felt like this about my bf, I'm pretty sure he feels like he has met the one for him....but I haven't sadly hmm

moopymoodle Sun 01-Nov-15 09:56:04

Sorry but just sounds like infatuation to me!

BringMeTea Sun 01-Nov-15 10:14:38

It took me until I was 42/3 but when I knew I would say yes if he proposed. But also that I kinda knew he felt the same. Undefineable but very clear in my head/heart. No angst/worry.

Mrskeats Sun 01-Nov-15 11:30:24

When you can't imagine life without them.
When things are effortless and you can be yourself completely
When you can discuss anything without arguing and resolve issues.

80sMum Sun 01-Nov-15 11:41:59

These are the boxes I ticked 'yes' to.

Does he like me?
Do I like him?
Do we enjoy each other's company?
Does he want children some day?
Does he have good employment prospects?
Is he intelligent and well educated?
Does he know how to do DIY like putting up shelves or wiring a socket?
Do we like/dislike mostly the same things?
Could I do worse?
Do I like his parents, especially his mother?
Could I see myself spending the rest of my life with him?

newmummy470 Sun 01-Nov-15 15:43:13

Not sure what I'm looking for. Just opinions I guess as I'm confused about what I want!
I split up with my husband year and a half ago. We'd been together since we were 16 and I was 31 when we split so all my adult life basically! And he was the only person I'd ever slept with. I'm now 33.
Since then, after a period of getting over our breakup I joined a dating website and have been on a few dates and met some lovely guys and yes I have slept with a few.
I enjoy dating. I enjoy being able to go out and get chatted up by a man without having to say I have a bf because ive never been able to do this. And please don't take this as im being big headed but I am aware guys find me attractive so do get attention and dates from quite good looking men aswell. And I was aware of this when with my ex but obviously always kept my head down because I would never be unfaithful. But now it's liberating that actually I can do what I want. I can enjoy it!
But there's been a couple of guys I dated and they soon liked me.more seriously and wanted a relationship and although they were very sweet attractive etc all I could think was that I didn't want to be attached to someone so I couldn't go out and flirt, get chatted up and go on more dates.
So. I'm thinking 1) is it just because I was with my ex so long I'm living my youth now!! And yes I should have fun and embrace it while I'm still young enough
2) will I always want to do this though and therefore potentially miss out on meeting the one for me because I won't commit
3) am I over thinking and actually if I ever do meet the one then I'd feel different anyway
I am enjoying meeting new people. But don't wanna be older and on my own because at the moment I just wanna have fun????
What does everyone think? ?

dementedma Sun 01-Nov-15 15:47:20

When he first kissed me.

wannaBe Sun 01-Nov-15 16:12:27

IMO if it feels right then it's right. Doesn't matter whether this lasts for ever or a year or two or less, go with the feeling for now and what's meant to be will be. iyswim.

I knew that there was something with my dp when he came to see me and we sat up all night talking, and when I looked at my watch it was 7:00 in the morning. And at that point we were still just friends - got together shortly afterwards. Now we've been together for 2. years, are engaged and this is where I see my life going.

With my xh I don't remember how I thought it was right, we kind of just got together, but it was right at the time, we got married and had ds, but now we're not together any more. Doesn't mean that it wasn't right at the time iyswim.

Just go with your feelings, sounds like you've got something good going, and if it's infatuation for now who cares.

bigTillyMint Sun 01-Nov-15 16:25:16

The night we metsmile

Was definitely sure on the third datewink

Still together nearly 20 years later.

noclueses Sun 01-Nov-15 23:01:50

bigTiffy, so what was it that did it for you? did you sense the same interest from him on first meeting?

NotEmptyNow Sun 01-Nov-15 23:18:43

When I realised he was putting me first before anything in his life.
When I was finally in a drama-free relationship and we resolved all our issues rationally and respectfully.
When we were spending all our time together laughing and messing about.
When we got to the stage that we knew each other inside out and still wanted to be together
When I couldn't see my future without him in it.

Totally boke but if you can't gush about your husband anonymously, when can you?

bigTillyMint Mon 02-Nov-15 10:06:28

noclueses, like the OP, I knew I needed to move on and look for a different type, having spent the previous 15 years with guys who were never going to cut it as a life-long partner and father. I knew I needed to find someone who had their head screwed on and was dependable, etc.

It was just luck that we were both invited to a birthday do by a mutual friend and we just clicked, despite him being nothing like my usual physical type!

clinksy Mon 02-Nov-15 10:47:00

First date, I was 17, he was just right, and he had a car.

peasareevilcreatures Mon 02-Nov-15 12:18:52

Definitely, first kiss. The world stopped just like Seeyounearertime said.

Over time he's become my best friend, I'd rather spend time with him than anyone else. After 3 years together he still gives me butterflies.

When I hit my 40's I had a lot of issues about getting old but now I'm looking forward to growing old with him.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now