Please bear with me, it's nothing compared with some of the problems here but it is hurting me. I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly 3 years (about 4 hours away) seeing a kind and good man. I'm mid-late thirties and had been single or in a run of awful flings/dates that really destroyed my self confidence from my late twenties. We were introduced by a friend. We have build something special with lots of common interests but, and here is what hurts so much, I don't really fancy him. I enjoy being with him, cuddling etc but kissing and sex are harder to deal with. I have kept trying and it's ok. It's a small price to pay for someone who loves me and is so good to me. We share values and want children.
Recently my head was turned by a colleague. I am attracted to him very much but wouldn't act on it. He is single but after a long messy relationship. I then heard he had slept his way around a lot and I feel a fool.
So this is selfish and it's horrible. I have talked to my other half over the years, he knows I struggle with the attraction but that I care for him and want us to work. He wants to be with me and amazingly (to me) can cope with me. He offers everything; I trust him, I care about him, I think we would be good parents and I have never so secure in someone. On a good day I think, I've had my time for passion, in a few years these feelings fade anyway and we'll still have our solid base. On a bad day I feel irritated and hate the person I am because something is missing.
It's my last realistic chance for children.
Work colleague has just confirmed to me, depressingly, there are few good guys (single) out there...reality check..
There are so many "I" s in that OP. It's about him too of course and I feel it'd be unfair to him, he doesn't. He believes we have so much more than just sex. For context I should say, we see each other a few times a month and then it is all day all night for weekends etc. Few longer spells together too
Sorry so long. Please advise/share your experiences but trust me when I say, I have only been hurt by the few single guys I've met in my thirties and I think you can't have everything in life
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Relationships
Compromise and being realistic. Please help
misslemonsfilingcabinet · 31/10/2015 08:13
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