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Scared of in laws

(9 Posts)
ParsleyCake Fri 30-Oct-15 22:05:40

Thankfully OH has finally decided to lose contact with his family. They are completely nuts. We had a show down recently and it still makes me feel bad - all nervous and worried.

I'm scared that they are going to come to the door and shout at me, or that we will meet in town and they will attack or shout at me.

We have a small baby and MIL took one of her 'turns'. She does this every month or so, when she drags up old issues from the past (usually petty things) and uses them as excuses to start arguments and goes completely mad at us. She phoned us up screaming at us over some perceived slight, and she twisted conversations we had up to a year ago to make me sound like an utter bitch. As usual, this was passed along the family grapevine and now they all are not answering their phones or doors to us.

I'm a pretty meek girl from an ordinary family and my husband, as you can probably tell, is from the worse side of town I suppose you could say. Some of the things MIL yelled at me were very upsetting and I lost my temper. I said something I shouldn't have in the last phone call - usually OH and I remain neutral or just take whatever abuse is thrown at us till it blows over - and now I'm scared that I have given them something specific to hold a grudge over. All the nasty things they claim we have ever done are made up, but now that I have said that they have something real to hold over me.

I'm so anxious feeling, to the point where I want to move house or even town. I'm scared of running into them, or them turning up at my door. I contacted the police because there was a threat that they would turn up and take back the pram they bought us as a gift, and I was scared they would actually do it, but they didnt turn up after all, and the police said they couldn't do anything.

MIL is still texting calling me a bitch and saying she wants back the money she spent on my daughter and I feel so horrible and anxious. we are very poor at the moment and have no money to give her.

I just don't know what to docto stop feeling so anxious. I really hate confrontation. There's no way I can get these people to forgive us for the things we have supposedly done (even if we did want anything to do with them) as its like talking to a brick wall. It's something actually mentally wrong there, they make up stories and twist things.

Baconyum Fri 30-Oct-15 22:15:40

For starters block her on your phone and any other of this family that are bothering you. Where's dh?

ParsleyCake Fri 30-Oct-15 22:22:28

He's living with us. Have blocked them all...just these feelings of anxiety wont go away

Baconyum Fri 30-Oct-15 23:00:09

I'm not surprised. I meant where is dh right now? Why isn't he telling them to fuck off?!

FrancesNiadova Sat 31-Oct-15 07:31:52

Your DH needs to be the one who's in contact with them, not you. You need to step right back & let DH deal with them; they're nothing to do with you.
If somebody attacks you whilst you're out & about, report them to the police. Even if the police can't take any action, go & make sure that it is logged.
You can't take on DH' s family, if they resent you being together then a go at you is what they want. You step away from them now & let DH be the contact.

FredaMayor Sat 31-Oct-15 08:12:53

Demanding repayment for a present is miserly in the extreme, and means that MIL thinks you/DC can be bought. People can lose sanity at any age, and IMO if you go NC you will be well rid.

molyholy Sat 31-Oct-15 08:51:18

Tell your dh to tell them to fuck right off and I would look to move. I wouldn't want to live my life in fear of bumping into these horrors.

MatildaTheCat Sat 31-Oct-15 08:57:24

I very much doubt that all the family do believe her version of events. No doubt at some point each one of them will have been treated to something similar. They will be glad it isn't them this time and are probably afraid of getting involved, so are cowards.

Ignore, ignore until she stops bothering. Then yes, move away because she sounds like very hard work to be around.

Hugs. it sounds awful.

pallasathena Sat 31-Oct-15 09:09:04

Read up on assertiveness techniques. Are you prepared to let your children be just as intimidated as you are? Its time to get tough and show everyone you're not to be messed with. Being fearful of bullies - for that's what they are - empowers them.

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