Wondered if anyone had any thoughts on this.
My DH confessed to me last week that he was sexually abused as a child by a teacher, over a period of a couple of years. He said he'd never told anyone before and seemed quite upset about it, ashamed and anxious that nobody else should know :(
Since then, however, he's been on terrific form, happy, chirpy, affectionate - whilst I've been feeling a bit shocked and confused by it all. I asked him last night how he felt having told me, and he said he was happy, and relieved, and it's nice not to have a secret any more. I asked whether he thought it had affected his life, but he was adamant that it hadn't - because he didn't want it to have done, and it's unhelpful to start attributing things to that sort of thing. He doesn't want anyone else knowing, as he thinks people think of you differently if they know that sort of thing about you. In short, he doesn't want to talk about it any more, and wants to put it back in the past where it belongs and get on with his life.
But having looked at things online about support for survivors of abuse, there seems to be lots of people saying you need to be able to talk about things, to confront what happened, etc to deal with it and move on. Or is that not the right approach for everyone? Am I overthinking things being upset by it? I feel if it's not bothering him that it shouldn't bother me.
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Is is possible to be unaffected by childhood abuse?
23 replies
confused2345 · 30/10/2015 15:18
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