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H has just said he will 'Unleash Hell' if I continue with legal proceedings

(92 Posts)
LakelandLassie Thu 29-Oct-15 20:01:53

Married 17 yrs with 3 DC.
Got to the end of my tether with his manchild/self centred behaviour.
Told him last Aug that I had had enough and I considered our marriage to be over. By March, things no better so saw a solicitor to begin legal separation. He refuses to open letters from solicitor. We have been living separately but in the same house since then (he wont move out)
I had to put things on hold to deal with DD who has developed a serious illness but today, with the support of my family, I asked the solicitor to proceed.
He has gone mad and said if I continue with 'this nonsense' he will 'Unleash Hell'.
I was trying to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of the DC.
It isn't going to happen is it?
I wouldn't mind but for most of the last 10 years he has given very little indication that he enjoys spending time with me and the DC, so why the sudden desire to keep us all together?? sad.

goodnightdarthvader1 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:05:18

I'd laugh in this face, then I'd log that as a threat with my solicitor.

It's a control issue, these things always are. He wants to intimidate you. Tell him to take his little dick out of the house and if he tries anything you'll call the police.

DO NOT let him intimidate and control you any more.

TooSassy Thu 29-Oct-15 20:08:45

What a lovely person.

Start a diary of everything. And I mean everything. He does anything that makes you feel threatened, call the police immediately.
Where are your valuables? Remove / make copies of key paperwork and store copies out of house. Likewise remove any valuables (not monetary necessarily but sentimental valuables too) and store them elsewhere.

He can try and make your life difficult. You can't control him. You can control you however and your reaction to him. Do not let him talk you down from this position.

AnyFucker Thu 29-Oct-15 20:11:18

who the fuck does he think he is ?

May men think they are above divorce laws

they soon learn they are not

AnyFucker Thu 29-Oct-15 20:11:25


Lacoba66 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:15:50

From what you have said, his reaction has nothing to do with if he wants to (hasn't) spend time with you and DD! It's about losing control!

Does he think he is some sort of 'war lord'? Sad git more like.

Continue as you where and ignore his 'sad' threats.

ImperialBlether Thu 29-Oct-15 20:16:27

Is there any way you and your daughter could move out? It sounds like a very unhealthy and stressful environment for both of you.

DoreenLethal Thu 29-Oct-15 20:16:54

He is just a man. Not a warlock.


LakelandLassie Thu 29-Oct-15 20:24:42

FFS. He has just come into my room to show me a caravan on EBay. Its the answer to all our problems apparently! He can live in whilst its parked on the drive.
He's all nicey nicey now.

Lacoba66 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:32:41

Perfect result OP! He has sorted out 'his' new accommodation, so all he needs to do is find a plot of land to plonk it on!

Seriously though, get the legal advice and try not to engage in his desperate attempts of communications.

HopefulHappyStrongAlone Thu 29-Oct-15 20:35:04

'Unleash hell' = holidaying in a caravan with bonkers STBXH grin

SugarDiabetes Thu 29-Oct-15 20:40:49

Tell him to fucking bring it on!!

HopefulHappyStrongAlone Thu 29-Oct-15 20:40:54

As pp have said, note everything he says/does, make copies of everything important, protect/secure sentimental items, and proceed with your shit hot lawyer.

cozietoesie Thu 29-Oct-15 20:44:23

Oh lawyers just lurrvve people who try and threaten others against trying to take legal action. grin

Tell your solicitor and keep everything he says documented. (In addition to the good advice above including about sorting the practicals.)

SassyPasty Thu 29-Oct-15 20:45:53

Just keep plodding OP, as others have said, he is not above the law. However please keep safe (I definitely don't advocate laughing in his face) - my ex twunt threatened to 'unleash hell' and this unfortunately meant embarking on a campaign of death threats and then physical assault. I would have previously bet everything I owned that he would NEVER lay a finger on me sad I also second the excellent advice to make safe personal, precious and sentimental items, in particular photographs. I wish you all the very best flowers

Hissy Thu 29-Oct-15 20:47:21

That caravan. Good idea.

It can be parked a million miles away from your home...

Tell him to bring it on. What hell does he think he could possibly unleash? Seriously?

Nothing, I repeat, nothing will prevent a judge granting a divorce whether he like it or not.

Get copies of bank statements and records, good idea to note take too.

girlandboy Thu 29-Oct-15 20:48:28

"Unleash Hell"!!
Someone's been watching too much Gladiator!!

LakelandLassie Thu 29-Oct-15 20:53:20

Can I just add Russell Crowe/ Gladiator he is definitely NOT!!

cozietoesie Thu 29-Oct-15 20:58:12

What people are and what they deep-down think they are are often very different. wink Just look at all the ads for men's toiletries to see how men view oftentimes view themselves - those people know their market.

WellWhoKnew Thu 29-Oct-15 20:58:22

I survived hell being unleashed for getting a solicitor and I'm still standing [sitting actually in MrsC's kitchen]

There's no doubt about it - divorce is horrendous. It is easier when you've got a solicitor to manage the 'hell they unleash'.

If he chooses to live in a caravan - that's for him to choose for himself (Mine decreed I live in one - my solicitor chortled and said "I think not", ergo I do not!).

In the interim, do feel free to divorce him with or without a solicitor. Most of what they spout is nonsense anyway.

And divorce ends. It's liberating.

cozietoesie Thu 29-Oct-15 21:00:22

Sorry - laughing too much here at the memory of all those bronzed men with rippling abs surfing impossible waves etc. (Hence the extra 'view'.)

TendonQueen Thu 29-Oct-15 21:04:45

Yes, it's a threat to bring you back home line. Ignore it and move forward with your divorce. Though I also agree with pp advice on making sure important/ sentimental things are safe, as even if you've thought 'he'd never do that' in the past about anything, sadly you may now be proved wrong.

bloodyteenagers Thu 29-Oct-15 21:08:47

Carry on with the divorce.
What's the worse he can do? Refuse to sign. Unless things have changed, you can still proceed anyway. Can ask for a bailiff to serve them, when he's at work. Might give him a kick up the arse to realise the only one releasing hell will be you.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 29-Oct-15 21:10:03

Absolutely tell him to bring it on - and then set the dogs of war law on him grin

Bluff, bluster, and hollow threats. Does he think you'll be quaking in your Choos? What a berk.

Helmetbymidnight Thu 29-Oct-15 21:12:34

Hmm, I don't think Russell Crowe rushed back with static 2nd hand caravans.
I may be wrong.

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