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Promiscuity with consent not a moral issue?

(15 Posts)
bridie69 Thu 29-Oct-15 19:55:17

I have been debating this with a friend. A male acquaintance of mine is single, has been for some years and has had a large number of casual relationships. Provided as we have no reason to believe otherwise these are all consensual, and that precautions are taken re STIs etc AIBU in arguing that this in itself does not indicate a character fault? It is fair to say the person in question is not especially forward not boastful. She reckons he can't be right, I don't think that is necessarily the case. Am not in any way interested romantically myself fwiw.

chantico Thu 29-Oct-15 20:02:46

Number of sexual partners and attitude to casual relationships are not protected characteristics, and it's OK to like or dislike according to your personal ethics and view of the nature of the meaning of sex.

avocadoghost Thu 29-Oct-15 20:03:55

Of course it's not a character fault confused

If everything's consensual, safe and between adults then it's nobody else's business.

CainInThePunting Thu 29-Oct-15 20:06:58

I'm not sure what the question is?
Your friend is promiscuous? As a long as he is taking precautions and looking after his/their sexual health it's fine.
Casual sex is not for me but I accept that others are fine with it as long as they aren't spreading disease without care.

bridie69 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:13:40

The question was AIBU to think there is nothing inherently wrong with multiple partners in someone's past, even if you wouldn't want to do this yourself? She thinks you can't be a nice person if you have had as many partners as it seems he has had, but I don't quite agree.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Thu 29-Oct-15 20:28:05

No there is nothing inherently immoral or wrong with plentiful, safe, consensual casual sex.

msgrinch Thu 29-Oct-15 20:30:30

She's unreasonable and an idiot to think someone isn't a nice person for enjoying casual consensual sex. A real judgemental idiot.

thestamp Thu 29-Oct-15 20:31:31

don't think it's a character fault at all.

plenty of people like all kinds of things that are not considered mainstream... it just means they have different tastes.

consent and respect are really all that matters.

ime people only talk about sexuality as a "character issue" or moral thing when they've already assumed that sex is some kind of currency and you have to spend it in a certain way, otherwise you're being irresponsible or something. which is obviously based on bullshit christian/abrahamic theology rubbish.

TendonQueen Thu 29-Oct-15 20:34:08

Re the sex itself, no. If he's achieved this by deception, eg making out he wanted a relationship when actually only up for a one night stand, then that's not nice. But just doing it a lot with different people is a personal choice.

Shinyhappypeople9 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:44:01

Being in a relationship and having sex with the same person all your life probably doesn't appeal to him. As long as not misleading anyone then I cant see a problem.

bridie69 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:52:49

Ok interesting. I agree with the posts here. I hope people would be as non judgemental were the person in question female

TendonQueen Thu 29-Oct-15 21:00:10

Absolutely. Double standards are very off in 2015. As long as she's not lying and knowingly hurting people a woman should be able to have the sex life of her choice.

Seeyounearertime Thu 29-Oct-15 21:25:10

It's always a fascinating subject. Personally I have had few partners as the thought of multiple does nothing for me. I enjoy sex as part of a relationship more than the few one night stands I've had.

What I find curious is often there is a discrepancy in people.
Eg: the promiscuous guy wouldn't want to be with a woman who had been promiscuous. Or a woman, who says she has nonissie with a guy like on the OP wouldn't actually want to date someone like in the OP.

It's basically because we're all different and have our own ideas on promiscuity etc etc.

ClashCityRocker Thu 29-Oct-15 22:17:50

Nowt wrong with it at all from a sex point of view.

But I would wonder if all the women involved were aware of the casual nature of the relationship. If not, then yes, that does raise moral questions for me.

My arsehole brother would say anything to get someone into bed and I know he caused a lot of emotional hurt by leading a woman who, in his own words, was a 'booty call' to think that they would end up together.

But just shagging is fair enough.

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Thu 29-Oct-15 22:32:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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