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Partner in prison

(225 Posts)
entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 13:34:50

Hi. There are so many layers to this its like an onion.

My partner is currently being held in a foreign prison without charge.

We have been together 3.5 yrs.

I have found out, since his incarnation, he has cheated on me for the first 2 years we were together. Nothing after that.

I'm finding it really hard to stay positive, knowing this. He has admitted it but I don't want to cloud our 5 mins phone calls with this.

He says I am the strongest person he knows but I'm actually dying inside.

It's such a ridiculous situation but is anyone else going through the same?

summerwinterton Thu 29-Oct-15 13:45:21

If he wasn't in prison would you stay with a cheat? Sounds like he is telling you what you want to hear so you won't leave him. I think you need to separate out the 2 issues and ask yourself why you are still with him. Doesn't sound like he makes you happy tbh.

Offred Thu 29-Oct-15 13:48:09

Why would you even entertain the idea of a relationship with this person?

Vixxfacee Thu 29-Oct-15 13:49:33

When people go to prison they cling on to someone. That person is you right now. Be prepared for him to tell you everything that you want to hear.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Thu 29-Oct-15 13:50:27

OP have you posted about this before? It seems familiar. If you have, he's still not been charged?!What are his legal team saying? Must be a terrible situation to be in, I really feel for you flowers

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 14:43:03

Ok. Why would I stay with him? I have no idea as I'm so much better than that.

Having him call me and hearing the desperation in his voice; I could never leave a person like that.

I do believe prison has been a massive wake up call for him especially now I also know he had a huge drug habit I wasn't aware of.

summerwinterton Thu 29-Oct-15 14:44:56

Oh it gets worse - unfaithful and secret drug habit? Run for the hills, they are that way >>>>>

His desperation is not your problem. Do you always rescue lame ducks and try and fix everyone? Time to stop that now.

Seeyounearertime Thu 29-Oct-15 14:45:25

If there was ever a thread that deserved multiple replies of LTB then this is it IMO.

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 14:45:26

whatthe he still hasn't been charged. He is in a foreign prison. The last time I posted, I got absolutely flamed.

Offred Thu 29-Oct-15 14:45:58

No, give up on this now while he is away and you have an opportunity to get away.

You do not owe him love and support and carrying on with this relationship will only bring you down:

louisejxxx Thu 29-Oct-15 14:46:51

What sort of drugs? Is that relative to why he's being held in prison in another country?

SoDiana Thu 29-Oct-15 14:50:41

He won't be getting out any time soon.
Forget him.

summerwinterton Thu 29-Oct-15 14:51:21

And do you wonder why you got flamed?

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 14:53:41

Let's just get this straight. He cheated on me for 2 years from the beginning of our relationship. He is currently in prison, in a foreign land, without charge. I don't know how long.

I know he hasn't cheated in the last year before his incarnation. LTB is such a quick and easy way to comment but, I love the guy to bits and would never leave my worst enemy in this situation.

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 14:57:50

louise it has nothing to do with drugs. That was his own thing that I found out later and probably explains the cheating shit.

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 14:58:32

Thanks summer you're so helpful

Dollius01 Thu 29-Oct-15 14:59:09

So why won't you say what he has been arrested for?

ragged Thu 29-Oct-15 14:59:58

Is he good for you, Enters?
When he's out of prison will he treat you will & help you have a good life?

ragged Thu 29-Oct-15 15:00:05

*well...

hereandtherex Thu 29-Oct-15 15:01:46

Is your partner British?

Is he in the a prison in his home country?

Whos says 'without charge'. He could be lying; it happens.

What's he in prison for?

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 15:03:12

dollius01 what does it matter?

summerwinterton Thu 29-Oct-15 15:04:15

he cheated on you for 2 years and you think that is acceptable? And he takes drugs.

He has zero respect for you. You are getting angry with us when that fury should be directed at him.

Good luck - you are going to need it. Nobody is going to encourage you to stay with a drug using cheat, and that is without the prison complication which you won't even say what it is for.

DameMargaretOfChalfont Thu 29-Oct-15 15:05:14

OP, how have you found out that he cheated??

Are you 100% sure of your source/information.

I think your DP has a right to reply to any allegations.

If you still truely love him then carry on supporting him on a long distance basis until you can meet up and sort out the whys/wheres/whens and indeed the truth.

If however your feelings towards him begin to wane then maybe think about altering the basis of your relationship to that of friends which would leave you free to see other people.

Whatever happens put yourself first as his situation could go on indefinitely.

What country is he being held in?

SoDiana Thu 29-Oct-15 15:06:33

Ffs it matters.
This is one case where I would say stay with him.
Well matched.

entersandmum Thu 29-Oct-15 15:06:53

ragged we have had an unbelievable fantastic last year or so. I'll be honest, it's probably because he hasn't been cheating on me.

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