Do you think my mum is having an affair? Some quick background info.. she is around 50 whereas my dad is around 60, I was very unhappy growing up with her as she told me I was ugly and couldn't wear nice clothes. After my brother was born she stopped playing games with me. Whenever I asked her to play with me she told me she didn't feel like it and this has since spread to her indifference towards me since I turned around 15. I never understood but my dad always spent more time with me as a kid and as a result I get on alot better with my dad than I do my mum. Having said that my dad is quite strict and sort of removed from the world emotionally whereas my mum shows signs of mania. I went to the dr and discussed this with him but he told me my mum would have to seek help herself as they could not intervene. My mum has spent the last ten years or so sat infront of the tv late at night, not going to bed til around 3am or 4am some nights. I know this because I would go down and see her watching tv at 12.30 or she would be asleep with the tv off, I would hear her coming upstairs to bed in the early hours too. Not only this but she would lock me out the house at 9.30pm or 10pm which is silly as I am an adult but she put the catch down so not only do I feel unwanted I feel unloved. I would have to keep ringing the doorbell or call the housephone to get her to answer the door. She would tell me she forgot I was there. Her selfish attitude extends to my grandparents and I watched in horror as she hurt my father when she pulled a chair out and laughed. She has more days off work than anyone should and has interfered with my relationship with my brother. We once got on really well but she has turned him into a bit of a mommas boy and he always defends her. She spent years "being ill" with a headache, I could hear her throwing up in the bathroom but staying up and only getting a few hours sleep will probably do that for you. I had suspicions that she was faking it after a few years of waiting on her (no joke) - her voice quickly turned from a fake sickie into a normal one again and she would be laughing at the tv. Slowly but surely she stopped going out with me and my family. I didn't understand it but saw my dad get annoyed at her one time when we were all going to a family get together. Now present day.. she doesn't get in til 9.30pm and she finishes at 5pm. Over the years she has stayed behind at work but it's a few times a week now and she only does office work so I don't understand the reason why she has got to stay so late. I noticed it would be a certain day of the week a few months ago and I didn't understand it. I asked her what work she was doing and she would say I have so much work to do as I am overworked but honestly, it's hard to see. I watched her promise to make my dying family member some food but then she didn't bother. I shot her an angry look and she said "oh of course I'll make it". What may have struck a chord with her is I think I have stumbled on some evidence that she is cheating.. other than coming home late from work she also had make up under her car seat. I dropped my own make up as the car jolted along a road and I reached down to get it. Her responses were very quick and she told me "don't do that now, wait until the car stops", I ignored her and carried on looking as I just wanted to find my make up and put it away. She said "Don't pull the seat back too far, I'll look for it, don't do it yet, wait until you get out". As we pulled up a few minutes later I had slid the seat back slightly and reached down to find my make up and what looked like a carefully placed lipstick. I was shocked as my mum had told me she doesn't wear lipstick anymore, last time I saw her wear it was probably around 7 years ago roughly. Her instant response was that the lipstick belonged to me and to keep it. I was horrified and told her I didn't want someone elses manky lipstick! She laughed and said my dad must have had another woman in the car. She got up and closed the door and I just stared at the lipstick. My mum will only ever wear brown or neutral coloured eyeshadows and this lipstick was neutral... I was convinced it was hers. The make was also an old make that I thought I had seen some years ago in her bathroom. I left the lipstick on the side in the car and got out. A week or so later she gave me a ride and the lipstick is exactly where I had left it. I made no comment but I was perplexed, either this was a very old lipstick (older than her current car she bought a few years ago) or she had got it from somewhere. The big thing for me is that the lipstick looked like it had been placed there and I'll explain why.. the seat has bars underneath it and it was nestled there snugly as opposed to mine which had fallen all the way down! I know she hoards clothes when my dad gives her cash to go food shopping and she gets the clothes at the same time from the same supermarket and I wondered whether she went shopping for 4 hours after work, maybe that is why she was late home. Where could she be going if she isn't working? I once confronted her about not coming out as I was so angry.. the person who had invited us over their house had put alot of effort into a meal and she didn't go saying she was ill (this is the second time she was invited). My mum got angry and upset telling me she was really ill despite me saying mum you could have made the effort. She doesn't like a particular woman calling up to speak to my dad and sounds jealous whenever he talks to her on the phone. One more thing.. when my dad got back from picking up her car from the repair garage and she was too ill to attend our joint birthday day out, she turned around to me as I was leaving (everyone else was outside) and asked where her car was. I said to her I didn't know and she looked dissapointed and made it obvious to me she was unhappy with my response. She said go ask your dad where it is. I told her it was too late as everyone has already left. I am so sure something is going on, possibly with her boss who she has spoken of before. She makes jokey comments to him at work from what she's told me but she doesn't talk about him as much anymore. I feel so bad for my dad as she is not only nasty to me but to him too. Does anyone have any ideas about her behaviour? It feels like she is hiding something but I don't know what
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Please could I have your opinions? Possible mum having an affair
cutekat0 · 29/10/2015 13:33
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