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Anyone ever been on a Pre-date date?

(23 Posts)
YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 08:45:07

Ive a date with a guy I really like on Saturday and I'm so nervous. Haven't been on an actual date in a couple of years and I keep imagining all these first date disaster scenarios hmm
A friend suggested I go on a date with a guy I'm not overly keen on, so not that bothered about impressing as a kind of warm-up for the 'big date' in an attempt to calm my nerves. At first I thought she was a bit mad but now I'm thinking she may be on to something. What do you guys think?

tribpot Thu 29-Oct-15 08:47:25

Surely no-one does this in real life, only on Sex and the City? Why treat someone else so disrespectfully - you wouldn't want to be someone else's pre-date warm-up would you?

YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 08:47:54

Alternatively, please come and reassure me first dates aren't all that scary.

Ignores bad dates thread grin

StillDrSethHazlittMD Thu 29-Oct-15 08:48:10

Rubbish idea. If it's a shit date and you don't the guy it may make your more anxious about the proper date. Just go for the proper date

YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 08:50:06

This is a guy I was planning to meet anyway. Just not someone I really like IYSWIM.
I haven't scouted him out as 'the warm up'

AnyFucker Thu 29-Oct-15 08:51:20

That just seems a bit silly to me. Why waste your precious time ?

avocadoghost Thu 29-Oct-15 08:52:03

That's a terrible idea! Just go along and be yourself. Don't play any silly games and I'm sure you'll be fine.

YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 08:52:23

StillDr My god you're right. How in the actual F could I not have noticed that flaw in her theory confused

whatdoIget Thu 29-Oct-15 08:54:20

If you're going to meet the other guy anyway where's the harm? Just see it as a stand-alone date rather than a pre-date. You might even like him more, who knows?

Spell99 Thu 29-Oct-15 08:55:26

What if the guy you dont like so much turns out to be more fun and considerate?

YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 08:55:41

Okay. I'm sensing a 'bad idea' tone here. Just tell me all will be fine and I won't spill red wine over his head or sneeze in his face.

spudlike1 Thu 29-Oct-15 09:00:45

How do you know you really like him, if you haven't dated him yet . Stop taking it seriously. Date them all relax, have fun and be yourself .

spudlike1 Thu 29-Oct-15 09:04:27

Spread the net wide there are a lot of time wasters out there

SassyPasty Thu 29-Oct-15 09:30:32

Have you set the first 'date' as a romantic meal or something having not even met him? That would be a pressure on anyone. I always think a pre-date meet first is sensible before committing to several hours with someone who, frankly you might not like nor he you grin

molyholy Thu 29-Oct-15 09:41:13

Aah poor 'pre-date' fella. How would you feel if someone used you as a practice? I know he won't find out, but you would know. Seems a wee bit mean.

Fairenuff Thu 29-Oct-15 09:55:33

What if you are his pre-date date, wouldn't that be ironic OP.

TeaJunction Thu 29-Oct-15 10:04:13

Kind of. When I first started online dating I set up dates with two guys. One I connected to really well by message and I was really looking forward to our date but I had already arranged a date with the other and he didn't come across as well by message.

I was so nervous having not dated in about 13 years but I had so much fun on the first date and surprised myself with how much I liked him. But because I thought I preferred the other guy, I was way more excited for our date. It turned out to be rubbish and Mr. Hilarious by text was actually mr. Boring as hell.

I actually ended up with neither of them because first date guy came on way too strong following our date constantly messaging me. Thinking back, I'm glad I had the date with the guy I wasn't as keen on even though it turned out to be nothing as he was so much fun and it broke the dating I've for me. Having said that, I think if I've had the terrible date with my preferred guy first, it wouldn't have put me off continuing because I set my expectations low and just saw it as a way to meet new people, something I do in my job anyway.

In the end I went on about 8 dates and I'm still with the last one over a year later and he's amazing grin.

TPel Thu 29-Oct-15 10:17:47

I really think you are over thinking the whole thing. It is just a date.

Just go along and see what happens. He is just a human being who puts his pants on one foot at a time.

TPel Thu 29-Oct-15 10:18:18

Lots of 'justs' in that post for some reason.

Crinkle77 Thu 29-Oct-15 10:22:30

No don't. It's not very nice to use someone as a 'warm up'.

Elliementalmydearwatson Thu 29-Oct-15 10:38:22

OP I read the title and thought you meant something else.

Anyway I was on pre-date date only I didn't know it!
I had arranged a date with a guy, got all dressed up, nervous etc but when we met it became pretty obvious that he viewed this meet as an opportunity to see if I was "worthy" of a proper date, it was more like an interview than a date, lasted 10 minutes and then he abruptly left saying he would let me know angry

Needless to say I didn't give him the chance and texted him to say I didn't think he met MY criteria ha ha grin

Sorry for going off subject!

YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 12:00:33

I know I'm way over thinking it. It's just because I've not been on a date in years. Like I said, I was going to meet this guy either way, definitely not using him for the sake of it. Friend just suggested I get it out the way first for want of a better phrase. Thanks for all the input everyone smile

YeahOkayWhatever Thu 29-Oct-15 12:01:57

watson I'm definitely not crazy enough to pull that grin

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