When you feel like he could be 'the one' - is this too silly to apply here?

[567y]

I've been dating since breaking up with DP of 3 years in February.

I've dated a lot. Had one 4 month-er, but that fizzled out at my decision.

Since last Wednesday, I've been messaging someone new, and I already feel like he's going to be someone amazing. The difference with this guy is that he was introduced via a friend, rather than online dating, so I feel I have background info on him (it's all good). We're not meeting until Tuesday next week, and I think about him all the time, it's ridiculous! I never analyse messages or 'wait for him to text,' but with this one I've been doing just that!

Any experiences you can share similar to this?!

[Hissy]

Chill out! If it's meant to be it will be.

Your investing blindly and you never know a soul until you meet them. Even then it takes time.

If it is the be all and end all, then no rush eh?

[Hissy]

You're...

[567y]

I usually am chilled! Very chilled! So this is new for me...

thanks for your reply :)

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

God, never ever think about the future with anyone until you meet them in person. (Speaking from bitter experience in early 20s).

Chill your boots till you meet in person. THEN you have permission to get excited!

[Trills]

There's no such thing as "the one".

And people being exciting over text does not always translate to being attractive in real life.

You may meet him and not like how he smells.

[AgathaF]

Slow down! You're putting him on a pedestal and that's unfair on him and unhealthy for you. Time will tell if it's meant to be. You need to get to know him properly first though, not just via friends opinions.

[567y]

haha thanks curly :)

[AgathaF]

You may meet him and not like how he smells - this made me laugh !

[567y]

thanks for the replies :)

keeping me a bit more grounded! will try and put it out of my mind until tuesday!

[Trills]

Pheromones, innit?

[Beaverfever]

Small is so important


I actually think it's one of the factoring reasons for my marriage breakdown and one of the factoring reasons on why I love current dp

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

There are many things that may turn you off him in real life. He could be shit and dribbly at kissing. He could wear a turtle neck top. Have embarrassing dress sense. Be horribly in your face/personal space. Be overly keen in an uncomfortable fawning way. Not take the hint when you realise he's not for you pretty quickly and you make an excuse to try and cut short the date. Just be.....NOT....FOR......YOU.

Patience, OP! (But come back and update us for we are all nosy types!)

[LynetteScavo]

Well I reckon he's the one. It's obviously written in the stars.

[honeyroar]

I did this twice when I was online dating. Then when I met them it was a total let down as there was no chemistry. One of them ended up a great friend (we dated for a month and it fizzled due to no chemistry).

Meet him ASAP before you can build it up any higher. Better to make a real opinion than keep messaging and dreaming.. Hope it does work out, but no thinking he's the one for a good few months yet!

[Scremersford]

If you've never met or even seen in real life this person, does that not mean you're more in love with the idea of having a man in your life, than the man himself?

[567y]

I dont think so, scremersford, as i've dated lots of people and don't 'fall' for them easily at all. it just feels different with this person.

[verystressedmum]

Why is it different with this one?

[honeybunny14]

Guy I'm with now I felt the exact same everyone thought I was mad been together a while now and from the first text I was hooked thought about him constantly there was just a different feeling i got with him and when we did meet for the first time it was amazing I hope its the Same for you good luck ??

[HotNatured]

How can anyone be 'the one' when you haven't met him ?

[CalypsoLilt]

Last December 5th I thought I'd met "the one", I'm now 24 weeks pregnant and single, turned out he was a manipulative narcissist. Sorry to rain on your parade (and I know I've been a mug) but there really is truth in the saying "only fools rush in".

[MarkRuffaloCrumble]

Was coming on here to say pheromones but I see I've been beaten to it!

Even then, if the pheromones lure you in it doesn't mean you're compatible.

I 'fell in lurve' with DP the first night I met him! But over the course of 3 years I have always known that while he is 'the one' (as in I've never felt this way, I am obsessed with him and luckily vice versa!) it isn't perfect and it could have ended at several points.

While I would have mourned the relationship, who's to say I wouldn't have met another 'the one' at some point?

Take it easy, don't put pressure in him or you to be perfect.

[MarkRuffaloCrumble]

On him, not in him!

[PassiveAgressiveQueen]

I thought this once, was the biggest bastard i ever dated, he dumped me at the end of the summer holidays (yes i was that young).
Vowed never to be so stupid again.

If i worked this out at 16...

[AcrossthePond55]

Please don't get your hopes up but….DH and I were introduced via our mutual best friends and we married 10 months later. 28+ years and two sons later, life's still pretty amazing.

We each knew the minute we met that it was 'right'. Thing is neither of us was actually looking for it and I actively was against meeting him. But I think the key is that we met not 'texted'. You can judge nothing by written words. I know he's been 'vetted' by your friend, that's good, he's not a completely unknown quantity. But that doesn't mean you'll hit it right off in person, or that he'll feel the same way you do. Please rein yourself in. Wait until you actually meet him.

[Jan45]

Are you really that bored that you have become fixated on a person you've never even met, I'd suggest getting things into perspective or else you might be in for a massive disappointment.