Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

When you feel like he could be 'the one' - is this too silly to apply here?

(31 Posts)
567y Wed 28-Oct-15 20:27:37

I've been dating since breaking up with DP of 3 years in February.

I've dated a lot. Had one 4 month-er, but that fizzled out at my decision.

Since last Wednesday, I've been messaging someone new, and I already feel like he's going to be someone amazing. The difference with this guy is that he was introduced via a friend, rather than online dating, so I feel I have background info on him (it's all good). We're not meeting until Tuesday next week, and I think about him all the time, it's ridiculous! I never analyse messages or 'wait for him to text,' but with this one I've been doing just that!

Any experiences you can share similar to this?!

Hissy Wed 28-Oct-15 20:32:18

Chill out! If it's meant to be it will be.

Your investing blindly and you never know a soul until you meet them. Even then it takes time.

If it is the be all and end all, then no rush eh?

Hissy Wed 28-Oct-15 20:32:26

You're...

567y Wed 28-Oct-15 20:33:28

I usually am chilled! Very chilled! So this is new for me...

thanks for your reply smile

CurlyhairedAssassin Wed 28-Oct-15 20:37:17

God, never ever think about the future with anyone until you meet them in person. (Speaking from bitter experience in early 20s).

Chill your boots till you meet in person. THEN you have permission to get excited! grin

Trills Wed 28-Oct-15 20:38:56

There's no such thing as "the one".

And people being exciting over text does not always translate to being attractive in real life.

You may meet him and not like how he smells.

AgathaF Wed 28-Oct-15 20:38:57

Slow down! You're putting him on a pedestal and that's unfair on him and unhealthy for you. Time will tell if it's meant to be. You need to get to know him properly first though, not just via friends opinions.

567y Wed 28-Oct-15 20:39:16

haha thanks curly smile

AgathaF Wed 28-Oct-15 20:39:40

You may meet him and not like how he smells - this made me laugh grin!

567y Wed 28-Oct-15 20:40:02

thanks for the replies smile

keeping me a bit more grounded! will try and put it out of my mind until tuesday!

Trills Wed 28-Oct-15 20:44:13

Pheromones, innit?

Beaverfever Wed 28-Oct-15 21:13:48

Small is so important

I actually think it's one of the factoring reasons for my marriage breakdown and one of the factoring reasons on why I love current dp

CurlyhairedAssassin Wed 28-Oct-15 21:21:08

There are many things that may turn you off him in real life. He could be shit and dribbly at kissing. He could wear a turtle neck top. Have embarrassing dress sense. Be horribly in your face/personal space. Be overly keen in an uncomfortable fawning way. Not take the hint when you realise he's not for you pretty quickly and you make an excuse to try and cut short the date. Just be.....NOT....FOR......YOU.

Patience, OP! (But come back and update us for we are all nosy types!)

LynetteScavo Wed 28-Oct-15 21:30:03

Well I reckon he's the one. It's obviously written in the stars. grin

honeyroar Wed 28-Oct-15 21:30:15

I did this twice when I was online dating. Then when I met them it was a total let down as there was no chemistry. One of them ended up a great friend (we dated for a month and it fizzled due to no chemistry).

Meet him ASAP before you can build it up any higher. Better to make a real opinion than keep messaging and dreaming.. Hope it does work out, but no thinking he's the one for a good few months yet!

Scremersford Wed 28-Oct-15 21:45:14

If you've never met or even seen in real life this person, does that not mean you're more in love with the idea of having a man in your life, than the man himself?

567y Wed 28-Oct-15 21:55:25

I dont think so, scremersford, as i've dated lots of people and don't 'fall' for them easily at all. it just feels different with this person.

verystressedmum Thu 29-Oct-15 02:18:23

Why is it different with this one?

honeybunny14 Thu 29-Oct-15 13:51:02

Guy I'm with now I felt the exact same everyone thought I was mad grinbeen together a while now and from the first text I was hooked thought about him constantly there was just a different feeling i got with him and when we did meet for the first time it was amazing smileI hope its the Same for you good luck ??

HotNatured Thu 29-Oct-15 14:02:27

How can anyone be 'the one' when you haven't met him ? confused

CalypsoLilt Thu 29-Oct-15 14:40:22

Last December 5th I thought I'd met "the one", I'm now 24 weeks pregnant and single, turned out he was a manipulative narcissist. Sorry to rain on your parade (and I know I've been a mug) but there really is truth in the saying "only fools rush in".

MarkRuffaloCrumble Thu 29-Oct-15 15:24:03

Was coming on here to say pheromones but I see I've been beaten to it!

Even then, if the pheromones lure you in it doesn't mean you're compatible.

I 'fell in lurve' with DP the first night I met him! But over the course of 3 years I have always known that while he is 'the one' (as in I've never felt this way, I am obsessed with him and luckily vice versa!) it isn't perfect and it could have ended at several points.

While I would have mourned the relationship, who's to say I wouldn't have met another 'the one' at some point?

Take it easy, don't put pressure in him or you to be perfect.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Thu 29-Oct-15 15:24:47

On him, not in him!

PassiveAgressiveQueen Thu 29-Oct-15 15:41:17

I thought this once, was the biggest bastard i ever dated, he dumped me at the end of the summer holidays (yes i was that young).
Vowed never to be so stupid again.

If i worked this out at 16...

AcrossthePond55 Thu 29-Oct-15 16:29:49

Please don't get your hopes up but….DH and I were introduced via our mutual best friends and we married 10 months later. 28+ years and two sons later, life's still pretty amazing.

We each knew the minute we met that it was 'right'. Thing is neither of us was actually looking for it and I actively was against meeting him. But I think the key is that we met not 'texted'. You can judge nothing by written words. I know he's been 'vetted' by your friend, that's good, he's not a completely unknown quantity. But that doesn't mean you'll hit it right off in person, or that he'll feel the same way you do. Please rein yourself in. Wait until you actually meet him.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now