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practical advice needed please

(10 Posts)
muddlingalongquitenicely Wed 28-Oct-15 17:44:19

My husband has told me our marriage is over. Things have been strained for the last 2 weeks after he came home drunk wanting to talk at 2.30am and posted all over facebook about making changes.
Which in his head is the only time he can tell me about our marriage problems.

I would like help to know what to do next regarding finances we both work full time and have a mortgage i told him we need to sell the house as i cant afford it on my own plus in a 1.5 years youngest will go to uni and it will just be me on my own. He wants me to keep the house as its the kids inheritance and says he will help me.
Can anyone help my heads a mess not sleeping properly i think im still in shock sad

springydaffs Wed 28-Oct-15 18:58:33

Strained for 2 WEEKS?? 2 years maybe, but 2 weeks? That's a very short time for a marriage to skidder to a halt.

What's going on?

muddlingalongquitenicely Wed 28-Oct-15 19:17:51

I wish i knew i thought we were going great having fun going out places. Looking back it was always organised by me. Should have said in first post been together 20+ years.
We spoke again today and he wants to tell people we just werent getting on anymore a mutual decision. I just looked at him shocked this was all his doing not mine.
He said he has felt like this for a while he has done this in the past come in from the pub usually gives me a list of things that piss him off and then falls asleep thinking wtf was that about. But he hasnt done it for a while.

springydaffs Wed 28-Oct-15 21:04:23

Bloody hell! 20 years completely down the tube just like that! shock

He's taking the fucking piss! angry

goddessofsmallthings Wed 28-Oct-15 21:37:37

Cherchez la femme. I suspect that an impromptu visit to whatever pub he goes to will find him making eyes at the barmaid or cosied up in a corner with some female or other.

forumdonkey Wed 28-Oct-15 21:45:17

Its strange how he doesn't want you to sell the house either if he's serious about it ????

muddlingalongquitenicely Wed 28-Oct-15 22:20:01

When i said about selling the house and him living with the consequences of his actions he said (and i swear this is honestly what he said) he thought we could still be friends and talk he then asked if i wanted to go clothes shopping with him. I think he thought he could still live in the house as friends afterwards.
My head is mush atm a friend has recommended a solicitors i just dont know what i need to take with me.

muddlingalongquitenicely Wed 28-Oct-15 22:21:20

And i told him no way was he staying in the house and why would he think i would want to be his friend after this.

springydaffs Wed 28-Oct-15 22:28:59

Has he always been the boss?

Did you not talk it through?

I'm finding it hard to get my head around that he makes this earth-shattering announcement - after 20 years! - and you're going along with it.

bobs123 Wed 28-Oct-15 22:33:22

Oh dear how awful for you muddling it sounds like he is living in cloud cuckoo land and not thought of the consequences and practicalities before springing this on you. I think you need to have a good talk with him (while he is sober) and see where his head is at.

If he really is serious then yes see a sol (one that is recommended)

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