Recently dh has been extremely stressed, very quick to anger, not pulling his weight etc etc. This has happened before. There's also been a couple of incidents of extremely selfish behaviour on his part.
Following my own depression/anxiety, counselling and an AD which has worked extremely well for me, over the past couple of years I've felt more able to confront him regarding his behaviour, letting him know it's completely unacceptable. His response is always very defensive, turning it round on me and telling me I'm as bad or worse, I don't support him enough etc etc
The problem is, I don't feel he has my back. If he's tired or down or whatever then I will step up and try and help. If I'm tired or down all I get is how much more stressed/busy he is. Good recent example - I broke my foot earlier in the summer. Got home from the hospital, feeling shit, struggling on crutches. He came home, went on and on about how unreasonable it was that I was non weight bearing on my foot and when I pointed out that I couldn't even carry a cup of tea myself he told me to make up a flask and carry that. Then fucked off back to work. All of it a joke of course .
Anyway... the past couple of weeks have been awful, he is so angry about the slightest thing, he has been scaring the children. He was in a sulk because of my calling him on his behaviour. I have asked him to see a doctor, I want him to have counselling over his knackered self esteem and his angry reaction to stress, however he's not done anything to start this off and I rather suspect that he thinks that if he toes the line for a week or two I'll pipe down and things will go back to normal.
Normal for me is shit though. We both work full time, he doesn't pull his weight wrt housework and childcare. We never socialise. He treats the children as an annoyance and an inconvenience - other than the odd family day out thrown in to keep us sweet I suppose. All he ever does is complain - about his job, the state of the house, the progress of his football team. The whole thing is making me weary and quite frankly I've had enough.
He's told me he's sorry, he's told me he's going to get help for his moods, that he is going to help me come up with solutions to make our lives easier and more enjoyable but he never has and I don't think he ever will.
I want him to leave. It's hard to say it out loud but it's true. I would be financially OK without him. I doubt the kids would miss him much, he has very little to do with their day to day lives, in fact being an EOW dad would probably mean more meaningful contact with them.
I'm struggling to say the words though. How can I throw him out of his home? How can I do this to our family? Having read numerous threads on this board I KNOW it's the right thing to do, I don't want my children having to tiptoe round him and I don't want to live in an atmosphere. I just need to find the words. Feeling very sad and very lonely in this marriage, I could do with some support to help me get out of it. Thanks for reading, if you've made it through the incoherent ramble.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
So it looks as though, once again, dh expects me to act as if nothing is wrong...
IKnowRight · 28/10/2015 17:35
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